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Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That
Movie moments are nice things to share with the people you care about. Most of those shared moments consist of "Remember that one part when the guy with the thing?" and before they can finish you're interjecting with your own vague, "Oh totally, I love that part!" But occasionally this process extends beyond an inner circle and goes global in its reach. This is where a perfectly fine movie goes to the realm of annoying, because of our need to repeat the catchy lines contained within them. Here is a completely subjective list of movies that have been ruined by our need to copycat. 1. Austin Powers ? "Oh behave." Remember that period after the movie when fairly normal people couldn't resist putting their pinkies in their mouth and incorporating the word shag into a sentence. Oh, that's right, no one wants to remember that. Thank god there were two more movies with the same jokes to remind us. 2. The Godfather ? A fantastic epic that spawned a generation of bad Marlon Brando impersonations. Sans cotton balls. The most overused, dumb line: "It's nothing personal, it's strictly business." Yeah, and I'm the president of Uzbekistan. People that buy into and repeat this line must have forgotten that the same people who proscribed to this guff also chopped off a horse head and put it into someone's bed. 3. Jerry Maguire ? What started with a nice moment between two deaf people signing in an elevator, "You complete me," has somehow ended up with people saying to waiter's at cheesy Italian Restaurants, "You had me at our specials for tonight are." Lucky deaf people. 4. Napoleon Dynamite ? The newest entry, and along with The Godfather combines two elements of mimicry. You can't just say the line, you have to do it in the voice of the performer as well. How could this possibly go wrong? 5. Scarface ? Oh man, give me coke! Give me everything! And after that I'm going to introduce you to my little friend and go down in a blaze of glory! Isn't drug dealing swell! All right, I know that's not the point, but ask any guy what their favorite movie is, and I guarantee not one of them is saying, "You know that Out of Africa was pretty fricking good. Remember when Robert Redford said....." Oh, who am I kidding, I'm a guy; this movie was perfect. Repeat "Say hello to my little friend" as much as you want. 6. Caddyshack ? Not for the lines that are said, but for the fact that nobody can remember what the lines are. If the lines were so memorable, why the hell are we constantly butchering them on the golf course? 7. Warriors ? All right this isn't a good movie, but saying "Warriors, come out and plaayeeeaay" is the equivalent of yelling "Freebird" at a concert. 8. Taxi Driver ? No one's looking at you. Stop pretending that someone is. 9. Forrest Gump ? Why did copying what a mentally retarded person had to say seem like a good idea? No, life isn't like a box of chocolates, most of the time we know what we're getting. Travis Cloud is a freelance writer from Seattle, Washington.
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Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New York from 1825 until the Civil War in 1860. Many of the 700+ cobblestone homes that were built survive today, a testament to their fine craftsmanship. If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This? IF, An Online Internet Marketing Poem Military Wives I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president. I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic. (I am of course referring to wives in the singular sense.) So let us, as Abraham Lincoln said, "Cast aside our differences" and as the modern day philosopher Marshall Mathers raps, "Let's get down to business. I've got no time to play around what is this." You may be the senior man at work, but your wife is the Commander in Chief of the House or (CINCHOUSE). You say this because you believe in the immortal words of our 16th CINC, Abraham Lincoln when he said, "A house divided against itself is sure to fall." You also know that it's not always advisable to follow the advice of our 1st CINC because, "Honesty is (NOT) always the best policy." If you chop down a cherry tree, in order to preserve good order and discipline, you don't tell the truth. You blame it on the kids because if you don't, she might draft a Declaration of Independence, throw you in the harbor, and declare a revolution. You realize you have "No convening legal authority." If something goes wrong at home or a bill needs to be paid, Harry Truman summed it up best when he said, "The buck stops here." The buck always stops with you. You need to "Walk softly and carry a big stick," of money because if you don't she's not afraid to drop the bomb on you. Two, if she has to and you're liable to be put, not in the White House, but impeached to the dog house. All the while proclaiming like Nixon that, "I am not a crook," and "You won't have me to kick around anymore." It's at this stage you realize you serve at the discretion of the President and need to "Read her lips" and "Ask not what she can do for you but what you can do for her." There's no need to, "Tear down that wall." Do your best to fit into her "Great Society" because you won't be getting a "New Deal." You must sing, "Hail to the Chief" because in the immortal words of the great disco song, "She's a CINC ???..HOUSE!" What military men need to realize is when you get married you pledge an oath to support and defend the constitution, but she will amend your constitution? There will be no hearings, and there will be not one vote. She has the bully pulpit and the mandate. All you can do is cry to your buddies, "Man, this is an infringement upon my rites." There comes a time in every military man's career, usually the first day of boot camp or marriage when you realize you must "Obey the orders of the president and all officers (Her mother) appointed over me." Needless to say, as it pertains to the institution of marriage. I have decided not to be a lifer. Someday a recruiter might be able to sell me on a lifetime self-commitment to the CINCHOUSE, but for now I prefer to be a conscientious objector. |
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