How To Influence People

Most of your success in life will come from your ability to deal effectively with other people. Your success will be determined by the number of people you know, and who know you in a favorable way. Everything you achieve will be through other men and women. These are people who will be there to assist you at the critical junctures of your life. Your ability to influence other people to act in your best interest is one of the most important skills you can ever develop to achieve happiness and success.

One of the common qualities that all leaders possess is the ability to get people to go along with them. In fact, the opposite of influencing others is simply being influenced by them. You can be either proactive or reactive. You can either go along with people, or you can get them to go along with you. Your success will depend on your ability to gain the active cooperation of others. Having the cooperation of others is indispensable in achieving your goals.

How you are perceived by others will not only determine the influence you have over them, but it will also determine your credibility as well. Everything you do or don't do either ads or takes away from your credibility and your capability to influence others.

One of the most important factors in your credibility with others is your appearance. You've probably heard of the saying that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression. When you meet a person for the first time, they make an initial judgment about you in approximately four seconds, and a final judgment within thirty seconds.

Everything contributing to the way you look on the outside is important. If it's not helping you, then it's hurting you. While you cannot control your physical features, you have total control over the way you dress and your grooming. You are consciously and deliberately making a statement about yourself by your appearance.

Your clothes are responsible for 95 percent of the first impression you make on someone. Your grooming and your hair style can exert an inordinate influence on the way that you are perceived by someone. Your accessories, such as a purse, briefcase, watch, tie, pen, and other items you carry with you all make a statement about you that influence the way you are perceived by others.

Another important element in influencing other people are the emotional elements of your conversation with other people. Your ability to communicate to the deep and subconscious needs of other people will have a major impact on your ability to influence them. We are all emotional. Everything that we do or say, and all of our decisions are determined by our emotions. Therefore, to be able to influence others, we need to be able to connect with whatever causes them to feel strongly one way or another.

One of the most powerful, yet underused skills you can develop to influence others is the ability to ask questions carefully, and then listen to the answers. Listening builds trust and credibility. The more you listen to what the other person is saying, the more he or she will trust you and be open to your influence. An important rule to follow when it comes to effective communication, is to never say anything if you can find a way to ask it instead.

Your success in every area of your life will depend a great deal on the quality and quantity of the relationships you can initiate and develop over time. If are going to achieve happiness and success in life, it will be through the relationships you have with other people. In the business world, a person will not do business with you until they're convinced that you are their friend and that you are acting in their best interest. In other words, someone can't be influenced by you unless they like you in some way. Of course, it's often possible for you to influence a person if they fear you, but that type of influence lasts only until the person can rearrange their situation and escape the circumstances that enable you to have control over them.

The safest way to influence someone, is to earn their liking and respect, by becoming their friend. This requires spending time with them, caring and respecting them. The more time your are willing to spend with the person, the greater that person's tendency will be to trust you and to feel that you are acting in his or her best interest. The more obvious it is that you care about the person, about what they really need, the more likely it is that he or she will be open to your influence. This is even more important in your personal relationships, with members of the opposite sex, your friends, and your children. The more that people feel you care about them, the more open they will be to your influence in some way.

Another way to influence others is through expertise. Expertise is closely tied to knowledge, but it is a little different. Expertise it the ability to perform well in your chosen field. Men and women with expertise are those who practice over and over in whatever they do until they become known far and wide as the very best in their field.

Having a positive mental attitude is indispensable if you want to influence other people. The more positive and enthusiastic you are about yourself and your work, the more influence you will have over other people. Emotions are contagious. Your emotions have an impact on the behavior of other of other people. When you get excited about what your are doing, you get others excited as well. The more positive and optimistic you are about what you are doing, the more positive others will be towards you. And this makes it easier for you to influence them to accept your ideas, and get them to help you achieve your goals.

One of the best ways to influence someone is to do something nice for them. Always find out how you can help the other person improve their life in some way, without expecting anything in return. You are sowing the seeds to reap the harvest later. When you do nice things for others without any expectation of anything in return, it triggers a desire in people to reciprocate.

One of the best ways to use the principle of sowing and reaping is to continually look for ways to say and do positive things for people. Look for ways to do kind acts and favors for your family and friends. Send thank-you notes and birthday cards. Send clippings from newspapers and magazines about subjects that you feel may be of interest to them. Always keep your promises, and follow-up on your commitments. Always do what you say you will do. Do everything possible to put in, confidently knowing that you will ultimately be able to get out far more. Remember, you will always reap what you sow.

The most influential and successful people always look for ways to do nice things for others. When you meet someone under almost any circumstance, one of the best questions you can ask is this: "Is there anything that I can do for you?" Always look for ways to put in rather than to take out. If you want to be successful you have to be a "go-giver" as well as a go-getter.

You need to be open to the influence of others if you want to be able to influence them. You need to be willing to accept feedback and to self-correct. You need to be flexible, fluent, and responsive to the needs and feelings of people. You need to be willing to change your mind and to approach situations and problems differently if your current method is not working.

The more people feel that you are open, empathetic, and sensitive to their needs and concerns, the more open they will be to you influencing them in some positive way. The more you can influence others with the power and impact of your personality, the more you will accomplish, and the faster you will accomplish it. And, the more rapidly you will move toward the great success that you desire and deserve.

Copyright© 2005 by Joe Love and JLM & Associates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.

Joe Love draws on his 25 years of experience helping both individuals and companies build their businesses, increase profits, and achieve total success. A former ad agency executive and marketing consultant, Joe's work in personal development focuses on helping his clients identify hidden marketable assets that create windfall opportunities and profits, as well as sound personal happiness and peace.

Reach Joe at: joe@jlmandassociates.com

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