www.1001TopWords.com |
Anger And Your Health
HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGER Jane and Anthony have differing ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (the glass is half-empty), while Anthony is an optimist (the glass is half-full). These outlooks influence how they experience similar situations. SCENARIO 1: JOB LOSS Jane is devastated, convincing herself that she is all washed up, she can never catch a break, it is useless for to try to be successful, and she is never going to succeed at anything. Anthony, however, has a healthier inner dialog. He tells himself he may not have been good at that particular job, his skills and company's needs did not mesh, and being fired was only a temporary setback in his career. SCENARIO 2: NEW JOBS Offered a new job, Jane, the pessimist, believes she was able to find a new job only because her industry is now really desperate for people, and must have lowered their standards to hire her. Anthony, however, feels he landed the new job because his talents were finally recognized and he can now be appreciated for what he can do. IMPLICATIONS As these examples illustrate, optimists tend to interpret their troubles as transient, controllable and specific to situations. Recent research by Dr. Marvin Seligman confirms this. When good things happen, optimists believe the causes are permanent, resulting from traits and abilities. Optimists further believe that good events will enhance everything they do. Pessimists, on the other hand, believe their troubles will last forever, will undermine everything they do, and are basically beyond their control. When good things happen to pessimists, they see them as temporary and caused by specific factors that will eventually change and lead to negative outcomes. BENEFITS OF OPTIMISM Optimism creates better resistance to depression when bad events strike, better performance at work, and better physical health. In fact, one long term study at the Mayo clinic in Rochester, MN, found that optimists lived 19% longer than pessimists. Optimism is also a powerful antidote to anger. Many participants in our anger management classes report their anger lessening as they learn to replace negative thinking with positive thinking. GOOD NEWS FOR NEGATIVE THINKERS You can learn how to replace pessimism with optimism. The starting point is to access your vulnerability to pessimistic thinking by taking the self evaluation test you can find at http://www.authentichappiness.org Your responses will be compared to thousands of other people in various categories, down to your Zip Code. If you scored lower than you'd like, you can become more optimistic. As Dr. Seligman writes in Authentic Happiness his latest book: "the trait of optimism is changeable and learnable." LEARNING TO BE AN OPTIMIST There is now a well-documented method for building optimism. It's based on first, recognizing, and then disputing, pessimistic thoughts. People often do not pay attention to their thoughts and thus do not recognize how destructive they can be in leading to negative emotions. The key is to recognize your pessimistic thoughts and then treat them as if they were uttered by someone else-an external person, a rival, whose mission in life is to make you miserable! Basically, you can become an optimist by learning to disagree with yourself- challenging your pessimistic thinking patterns and replacing them with more positive patterns. Note: this view of optimistic thinking is not the process of "positive thinking" in the sense of repeating silly affirmations that you really don't believe. Rather, it is the process of correcting distorted or faulty thinking patterns that create health, career, and relationship problems for you. By teaching yourself to think about things differently, (but just as realistically), you can morph yourself from a pessimist to an optimist-and tame the Anger Bee in the process. About The Author Dr. Tony Fiore is a licensed psychologist and anger management facilitator and trainer. He also publishes a free monthly newsletter "Taming the Anger Bee". Subscribe at http://www.angercoach.com
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Anger And Your Health HOW YOUR OUTLOOK INFLUENCES HEALTH AND ABILITY TO CONTROL ANGER Top Three Secrets To Becoming A Better Thinker We all know there are ways to become a better thinker. We should read more books. We ought to go to lectures and concerts. We need to visit exhibits and appreciate art. We can take classes and expand our horizons through travel. In A Slump?, Rejoice I Say, Rejoice! Yea, I know........I hear you saying "that's easy for you to say"! Well......why don't you just pout about it then? You know, I want to tell you a funny story about a salesperson in a BIG slump. This person I actually trained before she moved on to another job many years ago. You'll like this. When Laughter Does Not Come Easily The surge of emotions. Doubting Your Way To Success!... Ridiculous... Oh? Ever had a problem with doubts? Ever felt that nagging feeling down in the pit of your stomach that says, "It ain't gonna happen this time"? Have you ever wanted to throw in the towel and just quit? If so, you've experienced having your head full of doubts. Here is the good bad and ugly. Peak Performance Peak Performance. It means being at the top of your game, feeling supremely confident, feeling like everything you do is effortless and acheives its goal, feeling resilient and detached from the outcome, being in the flow, being in the zone, feeling relaxed, feeling happy and joyful, having a sense of clarity and certainty about everything that you do, feeling a sense of fullness in your life, indeed feeling fulfilled. Start Your Day on Your Terms Most of us start the day like we're trying to catch a train. We wake up, grab a cup of coffee, look at the paper and listen to the news. We rush out of the house to make an appointment or deadline or to put the finishing touches on a project. From deadline to appointment it goes. When we leave work we have other responsibilities and obligations, and it doesn't end until we go to sleep, and for some it still doesn't end. We never do catch the train. We forgot one essential thing. We are the conductor and the train can't go anywhere without us. Youre Not a Victim--Really! Woe is me... life has dealt me a bad hand... the stars are aligned against me... whine, whine, whine! Get over it! You are not the innocent victim of some terrestrial scheme. You are a victim of only one thing... YOU! Accepting Change Well I've finally done it...I turned my heat on. After shouting at the kids that it's not cold and making them dress like they are outside, I turned on the heat in the house. I finally gave in when I couldn't feel my fingers anymore while typing and the cat, Bogey, was sitting next to the desk sneezing continuously. I started thinking, hmmm he has fur and he's cold. Maybe it is cold. (One of those duh moments) I then looked at the temperature on my computer and saw it was 43 degrees. Well I guess it is time. 5 Tips on Turning a Negative into a Positive I thought this was fitting sense I just experienced a huge negative in my life and choose to focus on the positive in the situation. For instance, when I was unable to sign into this program to get to my list of subscribers, I could have taken it in the real negative manner and given up. But instead, I choose to see the positive. And, because I choose to see the positive, I was able to think clearer and was able to enter into my subscription base on another level. But, because of this negative experience, I have decided to take it as a sign for me to move on to something better, where I have more control over my newsletter. Understanding Visualization Visualization is the art of using ones imagination to influence his/her being and existence in many different ways. Such as: Healing one's self, increasing personal growth, influencing the outcome of circumstances, attracting wealth and love, changing habits and acquiring possessions. Affirmations to Improve Your Life An affirmation is a positive assertion, a solemn declaration, a way to change your way of thinking. You can use affirmations to improve performance and results in all areas of your life. The "positive action" self-talk of specific affirmations is beneficial to achieving desired outcomes. Dump Those Negative Tapes Every time something doesn't go quite right (rather frequently for some of us), we start berating ourselves. We can be the soul of courtesy and forgiveness to those we care about and then turn and savage ourselves in the most brutal fashion. How many times have you told yourself: "I'm an absolute idiot!" What was I thinking?" And that is just the start. All My Needs, Desires, and Goals are Met -- INSTANTANEOUSLY I get emails and questions from people all the time who are frustrated because they have read all types of self-help books, attended all types of motivational seminars, received personal coaching and yet, they still are unable to live the life that they dream of living. When Things Go Wrong As They Sometimes Will... Dont Get Your Knickers In A Twist! In frustration it's easy to jump to false conclusions that life is out to get you. Wrong assumptions will invariably lead you to wrong conclusions. And, it is ridiculous to think that our limited experiences are reflective of life in general. When the struggles begin, it's time for a reality check. Success, the Only Option One often hears people say they can't sketch because they don't have 'the talent' even to draw a straight line. When was it somebody told you "Oh, I can't play the piano; I'm such a klutz!"? Internet Tip of the Week: The Power of Positive Thinking The late Norman Vincent Peale was a controversial preacher who burst into public consciousness with his best-selling book, "The Power of Positive Thinking". He believed that ordinary people could become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things, and when they believe in themselves, they have the secret of success. Creating Your Desires Say aloud: Where Do You Get A Positive Attitude You Asked? How are you? Where do you get a positive attitude you asked? Comparison - The Great Destroyer In speaking of comparison we need to be aware that we should never compare ourselves to others. No other person has our unique qualities. No one else has ever gone through the exact same circumstances or has had the precise physical characteristics or thoughts we have. We are each unique in our own special way. |
© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |