Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former Student

Poor Rix ate lunch at a school last week, and really liked it. Who knew they could make a dessert out of corn chips?

Fact is, Poor Rix enjoyed everything about school, except for the "study" part. Lunch period was best the part of all.

One day I saw a dish labeled "Tuna Surprise." "Why do you call it that?" I asked.

"Because," said the cook, "we started out with a catfish. So if it tastes like a tuna, we'll be surprised."

Yeah, lunch was a scream back then. One time my friend Carl found two well-seasoned cockroaches in his green beans, and asked who'd be willing to eat them.

"I will," said Dave, who was once elected class president by promising "no homework anymore." But he didn't clear this with the teachers, so we immediately impeached him.

Anyway, Dave downed both roaches, and bragged they tasted better than the beans. But he didn't come to class the next day.

Another time we took a field trip to a neighboring school. At lunch, Carl chose the "mystery meat."

"Outstanding," he raved. "What is it?"

"Here's a clue," said our host. "Why do you think our team's called the Buzzards?"

Poor Rix offers bad advice to good questions. E-mail him at rixquinn@charter.net

Rix's book "Words That Stick" is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580085768/qid/