www.1001TopWords.com |
Coaching: The Art of Putting Yourself In Somone Elses Shoes
COACHING STEPS: The following are five (5) steps a coach can take to change behavior and performance. The goal of this process is to create the context for the person being coached towards one in which excellence becomes the norm. 1. Observe the action/behavior you want to change. 2. Describe the situation/action you saw. 3. Ask the employees what they saw, their perspective/point of view. 4. Tell the person how you saw the behavior, then 5. Describe what needs to happen instead and why - if appropriate. A GOOD COACH: -- Communicates regularly/frequently. -- Is direct and honest. --Accepts people where they are and goes from there! ABOUT COACHING: What's exciting about the possibility coaching presents is that it continually demands from you the commitment to perform beyond the levels you've reached in the past. It demands the willingness to treat each situation as brand new and to treat people with compassion. Above all, being a great coach demands that you be coachable yourself. Your coach could be anyone, and to the extent that you let people coach you, your own coaching will be empowered. BEING A GREAT COACH: -- Coaching is the art/skill of putting yourself in the other person's shoes; imagining yourself in the situation, and asking yourself what your interpretation would be. -- Coaching means being straight with people and accepting people as they are. -- A good coach relates to people as the people they can be, not as the mistakes they made in the past. -- Good coaching practices will provide an example for others and set the tone for better communication in the workplace. Keep your mind open to new suggestions and give your employees room and encouragement to participate more fully, and productivity and well as morale will be changed. LEARN FROM YOUR EXPERIENCE: You can look at a project you've completed as a success or a failure. Either way, it's the same project. But the context you hold it in can empower you or dis-empower you when you do your next project. It is said that Thomas Edison invented the storage battery only after thousands of tries. By thinking of each unsuccessful try as a step along the way to eventual success by holding each unsuccessful attempt in the "context of success," he was able to keep working until he finally succeeded. Copyright AE Schwartz & Associates All rights reserved. For additional presentation materials and resources: ReadySetPresent and for a Free listing as a Trainer, Consultant, Speaker, Vendor/Organization: TrainingConsortium CEO, A.E. Schwartz & Associates, Boston, MA., a comprehensive organization which offers over 40 skills based management training programs. Mr. Schwartz conducts over 150 programs annually for clients in industry, research, technology, government, Fortune 100/500 companies, and nonprofit organizations worldwide. He is often found at conferences as a key note presenter and/or facilitator. His style is fast-paced, participatory, practical, and humorous. He has authored over 65 books and products, and taught/lectured at over a dozen colleges and universities throughout the United States.
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Pecked to Death By Ducks Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . . . but a constant peck, peck, peck of negative feedback sure doesn't motivate you to change! One of my mentors called this gradual chipping away at one's self esteem, "being pecked to death by ducks." How to deal with it? There are ducks outside my window as I write . . . and I know that one sure way to make them go away, is to stop feeding them. Ducks need to eat a lot, and eat often, to keep going. If they can't get food from you, they'll try someplace else. So . . . how can you make this work for your brand of "ducks"? What about figuring out what there is about you that's FEEDING them? For example, are you reacting to their pecks? (Psychologists tell us that some people use a negative approach to get the attention they crave.) Are you working harder in response to their criticism? (When you do this, you are exhausting yourself and adding chocolate sauce to their dessert! The pecking won't end, I guarantee it.) I believe we feed our ducks when we take words of criticism home and brood. Most of us are programmed to take criticism much more seriously than we do praise, and many of us make almost a career out of taking criticism home to chew over . . . and over . . . and again. When Duck A criticizes me for DOING x, I have a choice. Take it home and make it last . . . or look the criticism in the face. If it's fair and valid, I may decide to stop x-ing (it's my choice). In fact, Duck A may have done me a good turn -- and one way to keep this in mind is to say (over and over if necessary), "It's about what I DO, it's not who I BE." A WORD ABOUT SYSTEMIC DUCK FEEDERS: Some organizations and groups encourage anonymous feedback, in the mistaken belief that this provides a safe environment for honest communication. WRONG! Anonymous feedback promotes dysfunctional systems . . . and dysfunctional systems are essentially "duck food silos." (I put a spin on an old mantra, "If you can't say it to his/her face, don't say it at all." Of course, sometimes we need help -- a mentor, an advocate, a companion, a safe structure. But whatever it takes, in healthy systems, constructive, behavior-focused criticism comes with a name attached, and if at all possible, is given face-to- face.) Finally: HOW NOT TO BE A DUCK: Before YOU criticize, think clearly. Figure out what is really bugging you. And then speak directly to the person with whom you have a problem. Use 'I' statements (a skill unknown to ducks, as far as I know). Rehearse ahead of time to be sure you're focused on behavior (Do-ing), not Be-ing. A good rule is to ask yourself, "How would this sound if she (or he) were talking to ME?" © Maureen Killoran, 2005 Who Do You Talk To? Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business. You probably find yourself being very busy, possibly working long hours and, if you are honest, being reactive most of the time. When do you get (or make!) time to really think about your business or the way you are operating personally? (Working on the business rather than in it!) Among the dilemmas you face are; making time to tune out and relax, time think about the business, and finding time talk to about the issues and frustrations. Become More Self-Confident Signs of Self-Confidence Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at work? If you have sharp analytical skills, have you sought to apply those skills to your current job? I know it sounds crazy to ask for more work when you are already overloaded, but any assistance that you can provide now will ultimately help you advance in your present position or in a future one. The Amazing Secret To Ridding Yourself Of Self Consciousness One of the biggest challenges to developing superior communication skills is that you already have your hands full in those situations where you need help. Take a typical scenario - meeting new people. The Incredible Human Psyche The intriguing Human psyche - more complex than the metamorphosing cocoon, and more phenomenal than the human brain could ever imagine. Who Are You Mixing It With? I talk and write a lot about Life Design ? creating and sculpting a life that is fulfilling for you. It is about shaping your personal landscape and environment. The Value of Career Coaching and Its Effect on Productivity Athletes the world over have coaches. Yet, workers whose very livelihood depends on their ability to perform well on the job are often unaware of the merits of a career coach. The Right Coach Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals? Whats in it for me if I Hire A Coach? 1. An unshakable foundation: Theres Always Enough Time! I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind with a little time trivia contest! Are you ready? Alright then, here goes?.. Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX? Things Are Good Because I Say They Are The subject of positive self talk regarding our goals and dreams reminds me of the childhood story, The Velveteen Rabbit. The boy loves the toy so much that a magic fairy comes and turns the toy bunny into a real rabbit. She tells the bunny it has been loved so much that it has earned the right to be real. The Student Who Knew Too Much This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? Coaching Skills for Peers: Extending Influence Many people think of coaching solely as a management technique. Although coaching skills provide managers with the means to get business results while creating solid relationships, the value of coaching in other arenas is often overlooked. Utilizing coaching skills is also beneficial when cooperating and collaborating with others, developing influence within the organization, and getting effective business results. Have a World-Changing Conversation I know what you're thinking?"Here I am, completely stressed out and overworked, and here's Barbara telling me that I can change the world by having a conversation! Really?the heat must have fried her brain?" Business Coaching Legacy: Reflections on What You Want to Leave Behind? Updating my will has been on my mind for quite some time now. Life circumstances change, kids grow-up, financial situations changes. I procrastinated for a very long time about this will. Now that it is, I feel very satisfied and pleased. There is peace in that corner of my mind that nagged and nagged about it for so long. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to realize that people, myself included, avoid making out wills because they don't want to confront their own mortality or have to face up to making difficult decisions. Lessons from Donald Trump and The Apprentice: A Career Coachs Perspective What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump and The Apprentice? You Can Get There From Here But first you've got to raise your standards. Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. |
© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |