www.1001TopWords.com |
Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success
WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX? Think tools are just for builders and construction workers? Think again! Everyone needs a well stocked toolbox. Over the years, given the wisdom of life's experiences and much learning, I have assembled my own psychological toolbox. It contains, among other things, Ideas from diverse schools of thought Acquiring effective coping tools changed my life. (There's an understatement!) In times of stress, these tools bring me back to center and realign me with my higher self. They lead me to receiving nourishment when I need comfort. They help me find safety within myself and in this world. I now have many practices which reconnect me to divine source when I wander off the path. When worry, stress, self-doubt, or victim thinking fill my mind, it's time to dig through the toolbox and pull out one (or many) strategies that help bring me back into a more natural state of peace and empowerment. Each of us has a range of coping mechanisms that we employ when faced with stress. Sometimes, a solution as easy as taking a few deep breaths and putting the situation back into perspective can bring us back into balance. Once in a while a brisk walk outdoors brings us a sense of relaxation when we need it most. While at other times a steamy bath, candles, Mozart, and cup of warm tea is what is needed to soothe the body, mind and soul. What doesn't work is continuing to worry about the problem without taking action, remaining in victim thinking, berating ourselves, or ignoring our needs. Most people have a toolbox of coping mechanisms that effectively get us through life's tougher situations. But if that toolbox isn't very full with empowering tools, then we are unable to cope with balance when a stressful situation arises. Oftentimes, people who use food to cope (anorexia, bulimia, compulsive overeating, binge eating, etc.) do not have many soothing, calming, nurturing tools to alleviate anxiety. The use of food or addiction becomes one of the few ways to reduce the effects of stress from the mind and body. Whether you're aware of it or not, you have a toolbox. But maybe it's time to inventory the contents. Do your tools help you survive - or do they help you thrive? Are there enough tools to support you as you build the life you want? Take a look at the following two lists and notice how you would go about the business of consciously filling your personal toolbox for success Some questions to ask yourself: 1) How can I utilize my tools better? 2) What new tools do I need to acquire? 3) Which tools can I replace or eliminate? INEFFECTIVE TOOLBOX STRATEGIES: Self-judgement (stupid, lazy, worthless, etc.) Self-criticism Poor me Big fat slob Self-pity I can never have what I want Seeking other's acceptance Mental chatter Binge eating Anorexia and starving Bulimia Excessive busyness Drinking Drugging Numbing out Excessive Sleep Checking out Depression Creating illness in times of stress EFFECTIVE TOOLBOX STRATEGIES: Communicating and expressing feelings Supportive self-talk Journal writing Self soothing strategies Talking to self in mirror with encouraging statements Releasing anger safely and effectively Accepting emotions and emotional pain Voicing emotions instead of stuffing emotions down Speaking truth instead of hiding real feelings, opinions Setting written goals Recognizing accomplishments and successes Empowering affirmations Visualization and imagery Relaxation strategies Abdominal breathing techniques Healthy movement, dance, yoga, etc. Inspirational books, poetry, religion Emotionally supportive music Surround yourself with beauty Add more fun to your life! Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved. Dr. Annette Colby, RD "Opening Creative Portals to Success" For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit:http://www.LovingMiracles.com
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Creating Supportive Environments I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi café in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C. The reason I am here has nothing to do with me or my business, but the reason I can continue to be successful in my work is because I have set myself up to do so. How? By creating supportive environments. In this case, the laptop, the appropriate software, and the ability to connect to the Internet, as well as the support of my husband, all contribute positively to my accomplishment of the task: writing and submitting this column on deadline and without stress. Listening Skills In Relationships Recently, when out to dinner with another couple, my husband is surprised at what someone says about one of our neighbors. He even comments this to the person about his amazement. Less than one week later, my husband comments to me he wonders about this very situation. After asking him, "Well don't you remember Sean told you that?" "No. I must have been in a conversation with someone else then." I just torque my jaws and change the subject because I just don't want to have this conversation about listening again. Great Advice It never ceases to amaze me that every time I give a speech, do a seminar, or talk with people one-on-one, I get inundated with questions seeking the almighty answers to all that ails them. However, when I press them to come up with an answer to their own situation, they usually respond by offering their own solution right back to me. Build Your People Skills How would you like to get along even better with others in your personal relationships and in the workplace? Getting along well with people sounds kind of general and is difficult to do much about, so let's break it down into some manageable and specific skills. By building the following skills, you will get along well with others: Change vs Transition "There is a time for departure, even when there's no certain place to go." -- Tennessee Williams Do You Want to Impress Others? Then Don?t Talk ?Listen Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so she did not think she would be able to effectively communicate with the people at the conference. I asked her why she thought she had to use technical jargon when she spoke to the other conference attendees. She responded that she wanted them to think well of her. Michelle is a warm, caring individual who is genuinely interested in others. I assured her that she could effectively relate to the people she met by asking them questions about themselves and their businesses instead of trying to impress them with her knowledge of veterinary science. Creating An Effective Toolbox For Success WHAT'S IN YOUR TOOLBOX? Hows Your Self-Talk? You know, what are you saying to yourself? There's always something going on in there. Do you make positive statements about yourself to yourself or are you beating yourself up with your own words? Communicating Anger Compassionately Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an emotion everyone knows about. Unfortunately, few people have been taught how to mange this feeling in an assertive and compassionate way. If we resort to raising our voice, yelling, or lashing out when we are angry; that is an aggressive expression of anger. Approximately 70% of people have a tendency to suppress anger. In other words, they bottle it up and lash out later. Bottling up feelings often leads to 'anger attacks'-those bursts of rage that leave you feeling guilty afterwards. The Art of Change We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find a lot of opinionated opposition if it implied a lack of growth, whether that be on a knowledgeable level, a logical or spiritual one, but in this case we refer to ourselves and who we are in relation to who we were when we decided to grace this world with our presence. Discovering Your Passion and Purpose "I can't seem to discover why I'm on the planet." Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a drag. We tend to see the big picture and want to jump straight to the finish line, wishing we could skip all the steps in between. Unfortunately, this perspective often causes us to become overwhelmed when it's time to start a project. We know where we want to end up, but we don't know where to start. Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some journaling ideas if you're not sure where to start: How Do You Build Momentum in Your Business and Life? A few weeks ago at a "Leadership from the Ground Up" conference, Donald Trump spoke about the ingredients for success. I found his topic on momentum very intriguing. My thoughts have been returning to his presentation in my mind ever since. People Pleasing and How to Stop! "People pleasing can leave you feeling empty and taken advantage of." Deb Melton Attention! Thought Crossing! ? Or, The Secret of What?s Between Your Ears What are you thinking - right now? 'I'm reading your article!' you say. Well, take a little bit of a closer look. What's spinning in the back of your mind? Is it that big deadline that's looming at the end of the week? Or how you're going to deal with your mother-in-law this weekend? Or maybe you're worrying about your finances? How to Crack a Daunting Task! If you have a daunting task and the mere thought of it overwhelms you, it's probably too big to implement directly and should be broken down into actionable parts. I find this happens to me frequently -- I see the big strategic goal that I want to achieve, but become paralyzed thinking about the size of the project. To accomplish my overall goal, I need to crack this task into small doable pieces. In that way, I keep it simple and focused on one thing at a time. Transitions: Moving Through Change With Grace MOVING THROUGH CHANGE Executive Coaching and Effective Learning We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over. We return to our work, our offices, our lives-and the principles we learned are swept aside by a tidal wave of meetings, projects, and commitments. If we're motivated, we find a moment to reflect on and consolidate a couple of relevant points, but industry studies show that most new learning is lost within a few days of the event-as much as 90% in some cases. So what's the solution? Its Only Adult ADD-What A Relief! For most of her fifty years, Barbara was at war with herself. Keeping organized, being on time, and finishing what she started were always a struggle. (Sound familiar?) |
© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |