How to Manage Self Consciousness

Self consciousness is an essential part of being human, but it can make social situations really tricky sometimes. Here's what you can do about it if it happens to you.

First, let's look at what mean by self consciousness. Here's an example...

Self consciousness in action

You're standing with a group of friends, happily chatting away, the conversation going along nicely. Then someone says to you, "John, you're good at that, why don't you tell us how you do it?"

And Bang!, the way you feel changes completely. It's as if a spotlight has been turned on you and the rest of the room lights dimmed.

All of a sudden, your cheerful, easygoing nature of 10 seconds ago is nowhere to be found! What happened?

Well basically, your focus of attention has shifted to yourself, otherwise known as self consciousness.

You may also have received a shot of adrenaline as a stress response.

Now we have 2 potential problems:

If your adrenaline levels go too high, your brain will cease functioning in a way that allows you to think clearly, and you will feel like running away. This is obviously not optimal for a social situation!

If your focus of attention gets 'stuck' on yourself, i.e. in self consciousness mode, you won't be able to discuss the topic you've been asked to talk about. High adrenaline levels will make it more difficult for you to shift your focus away again.

So what can you do about self consciousness?

OK. Well let's deal with the adrenaline first. If you're getting this sort of stress response then it would be wise to learn some relaxation techniques.

Used correctly, relaxation will 'decondition' your anxiety response. To explain - if you are reacting with anxiety very quickly in this sort of situation, it may be because you have had similar experiences in the past, and your body has 'learnt' to respond this way, faster than you can think.

There are 2 main things to do: