|
|
| www.1001TopWords.com |
|
|
Tax Jokes and Quotes
Do you realize that some tax forms ask you to check a box if you are BLIND? Quote: "Two years ago it was impossible to get through on the phone to the IRS. Now it's just hard to get through. That's progress." -Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner Disappointed that you never had time to write the great American novel? Don't fret, just go dig out your past tax returns. Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after taxes." Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now." Quote: "It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with a smile, but normally cash is required." Q: Who audits IRS agents? Quote: "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund." Q: How do you drive a CPA insane? A: Fill out Form 1040EZ. Quote: "The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect." Why is it that when the IRS loses a tax return, it is considered a mistake, but when you lose a receipt, it is considered tax evasion? Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling." Q: How do you humble a person that flaunts their wealth? A: Have them fill out a tax return. Quote: "Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr." Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: There's a lot of screaming and you end up losing your house. Quote: "When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?" People often say death and taxes are the same, but thisis wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never die. Richard Chapo is CEO of http://www.businesstaxrecovery.com - Obtaining tax refunds for small businesses by finding overlooked tax deductions and credits through a free tax return review.
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
How to Reduce the Estate Tax Using the A-B Revocable Living Trust In a past article I relayed the plight of the widow who stated: Small Business Tax Credit - Americans with Disabilities Act Many small businesses complain when confronted with the expense of complying with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Most do not realize that there are a number of tax incentives available to offset the costs. Importantly, one tax incentive comes in the form of a tax credit, which is far more valuable than a tax deduction when it comes to creating tax savings. Alas! In E-Commerce Taxland In trying to comply with tax laws for your e-business, you may find yourself falling down the rabbit-hole,going through the looking glass, and attending a Mad Tea-Party. 10 Thoughts on Tax Offer in Compromise Beware of advertisements that claim to settle tax debts for "pennies on the dollar". Check the Offer In Compromise requirements to see if it is right for you. Tax Tips for Home-Based Business Owners As tax time approaches, many home-based business owners begin completing their forms or paying their accountants with trepidation. This nervousness comes from two sources: a fear of being audited and a fear of having to pay a lot. For the most part, both of these fears are unfounded. IRS Lock-In Letters ? What?s An Employer To Do? Employers often ask employees to designate the amount of tax withholdings for paychecks. Occasionally, employees will fail to withhold a sufficient amount in the eyes of the IRS. The IRS will then send a "lock-in" letter on the amount to be withheld. What's an employer to do? Euro Tax Haven Threat Media reporting of a new EU savings tax directive has left many people wondering whether European tax havens could soon become obselete. What You Need To Know About Taxes If You?re Getting Married It may not be high on the list of wedding planning activities, but there are a few simple steps that can help keep tax issues from interrupting your newly wedded bliss. If you recently married, check out your new tax situation. You might save money or even prevent the problem of a missing refund check. The Internet Tax Man Cometh Q: I was contacted by the city tax collector to say that my business is scheduled to be audited to see if I owe sales tax on items purchased on the Internet. Can they really make me pay sales tax on internet purchase? I thought you could buy things online tax free? -- Charlie B. Business Tax Loophole: Leasing Assets To Your Corporation While there are many equally valid reasons to incorporate, saving money on taxes is a consideration that can yield relatively immediate results. Leasing assets to your corporation is a tax strategy you should absolutely consider if you already have a corporation or are thinking about forming one. Here's how it works. The Annual Gift Tax Exclusion: Getting The Edge Whether helping the kids with a down payment on their first home, paying the premiums on a life insurance policy in an irrevocable trust, or moving appreciated assets to a younger generation, annual gifting will touch the lives of millions of Americans. But before the transfer is made, an investor should spend some time looking at the investment and the tax ramifications of the property to be passed. Understanding Basic Tax Terms If your like many, you don't always understand what people are talking about when it comes to Taxes. It's important to know the main tax terminology, especially when tax season comes around. Knowing the basics will make tax season less of a hassle for you, and maybe even save you some money. There are hundreds of terms; Below are some of the most important: History Of The Federal Income Tax The powers of Congress, and the limitations set upon those powers, are set forth in Article I of the United States Constitution. Section 8 specifies both the power to collect, "Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises," and the requirement that, "Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States." IRS Certifies 2006 Toyota Hybrid for Clean Fuel Deduction The Internal Revenue Service has certified the 2006 Toyota Highlander Hybrid as being eligible for the clean-burning fuel deduction. This certification means that taxpayers who purchase one of these hybrid vehicles new during calendar year 2005 may claim a tax deduction of up to $2000 on Form 1040. Section 179 ? Tax Relief From Depreciation Rules "Depreciation." For business owners, this word is the one most likely to inspire headaches and fits of cussing. The expanded provisions of Section 179 are just the medicine you need to cure the depreciation blues. Another Tax Loophole Just image, you are a small manufacturing company, business has been good, but yesterday you received a call from a customer who wants 50,000 widgets in 45 days. The customer is a large account and if you turn the business down, he may never call you again. Taxation of Forgiven Debt: The 1099C & You Often people fall on hard times and stop paying on credit cards. After a while the account may go to an outside debt collector who might offer a settlement of the debt for 30-40% of theoriginal sum. Once this is paid, the debtor often thinks the matter is closed, but it is not! It is very likely that the creditor will issue a 1099-C. This is a notice to IRS of the forgiven debt. If the debtor does not address this on his return he may get an IRS bill a year or two later with penalties and interest. Gambling Income and Expenses - Tax Requirements Hit a big one? With more and more gambling establishments, keep in mind the IRS requires people to report all gambling winnings as income on their tax return. Get Uncle Sam To Pay $36,000 For Your Childs Education! Let's assume that you would like to begin saving for your children's education fund. At the end of each year, for the next 8 years, you will contribute $2,000 into a Coverdell Education Savings Account (Education IRA), using your after-tax dollars. The money grows tax-free, and neither the contribution nor the interest is taxed when you make a withdrawal, as long as you use it for education purposes. Six Urban Myths About Taxation Six Urban Myths ? Taxation
|
| © Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |
