The Difference Between the Curmudgeons and the Serene

Have you ever noticed how many unhappy people there are inthis world of ours? Almost every time I venture out I comein contact with them. You see them in the stores, themarket, on the roads ~ everywhere. They are the ones whodon't seem to know how to look pleasant. Their faces arescrunched up in ugly frowns, they sigh and grumble a lot.They're rude to store clerks and restaurant servers. Theyhonk their horns if traffic doesn't move fast enough tosuit them. They let the door slam in your face as you entera store. They yell at their children and lose their tempersif they are made to wait.

They seem to be chronically angry. Nothing seems to pleasethem. What's wrong with them?

Maybe their lives haven't turned out the way they hadplanned ~ maybe the stress of everyday living is too muchfor them ~ maybe they hold bitterness and resentment insideuntil it becomes visible for all to see. And ~ maybe a fewof them are just having a bad day.

When you meet these kinds of people your first inclinationis to stay as far away from them as possible. That'sprobably the safest thing to do! ; ) But sometimes, if youmake an effort to talk with them, maybe just smile and sayhello, you find their countenance changes ~ they almostseem surprised that anyone would make the effort to connectwith them. Their faces soften and they smile back at you.At times just saying "hi" to one of these people can starta pleasant conversation.

One day at the grocery store I happened to get a cashierwho really looked surly! I asked her if she was having abad day. That started a ten minute conversation in whichshe told me she had been working 16 straight days without a break; that she was getting married in a month and had a million things left to do for the wedding. As she talkedshe became more animated and began to smile. As I left, Inoticed she greeted the customer in line behind me in apleasant, happy voice.

Maybe the fact that someone took the time to speak with herand was willing to listen to her story was enough to makeher feel a little better. Sometimes we all feel isolatedfrom our fellow man. We focus so intently on what's wrongwith our lives, with our world, that we fail to see thegoodness around us. All of our negative thinking makes usmiserable and that's the face we present to others. We maynot even be aware of what we're doing or how we appear.When that happens all it may take to bring us out of ourself-imposed misery is a kind word from someone, even astranger.

We're told that, in large part, we create our ownunhappiness. I believe that's true. Whether we want tobelieve it or not, our attitudes play a significant role inhow happy or unhappy we are. There are people who can takethings in stride that would bring others to their knees.What's the difference between the two? Maybe it's as simpleas the way people react to the things that happen in theirlives. Some people look at problems as challenges, otherslook at them as roadblocks. The first group finds ways toresolve issues, the second group develops a defeatistattitude and doesn't even try.

When we come up against an obstacle we have a choice. Wecan whine about how unfair it is or we can do something toremove it. It's our decision. If we choose to do nothing,nothing will be accomplished and we'll fail to progressbeyond that point. If we continually choose to do nothingwe end up with a life of frustration and broken dreams. Ourself esteem plummets and we see ourselves as losers. Or, wemay feel victimized and become resentful and bitter. Eitherway we're going to miss out on much of the goodness lifehas to offer.

We have the power to literally change our lives. All wehave to do is change our attitudes toward life. Making thechanges isn't always easy but it can be done. I'm livingproof of that. I used to be very negative, always focusingon the bad rather than the good. I was the proverbial"glass half empty" type of person. That kind of attitude isself-perpetuating unless you make a decision to change itand start concentrating on the good things that happen.

No life is without its bumps and sometimes it seems likeyou're driving over boulders, but that's okay. PeterMarshall wrote, "When we long for life withoutdifficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrarywinds and diamonds are made under pressure." We have toaccept those bumps and feel confident that they will helpus grow stronger.

We all have blessings to be grateful for ~ it's those wemust rely on to support us when we hit a rough patch on ourjourney. It's up to us to make the best of bad situationsand develop the ability to see life as an endless stream ofwonderful possibilities. To react in any other waydrastically limits our capacity for joy and happiness.

That being said, it's up to all of us to do what we can tomake it easier for others to see the positive side of life.Not only does it help them, it makes us feel better too. Sonext time you see someone who looks like a thundercloud,summon up your courage, stand tall and make a simple humanconnection.

You can make a difference.

Linda Offenheiser is an online copywriter and offline wife, mother and grandmother. She loves to share some of the life lessons she's learned along the way. You can read more at Northern Reflections. For a simple way to make a difference in another's life visit Send Out Cards. This automated greeting card system makes staying in touch easy and inexpensive.