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Parenting Skills - Five Ways To Turbo-Boost Your Confidence
The 'phone conversation had nothing at all to do withparenting - but it made me think . . . "Hello, Eastbank Football Club. Can I help you?""Good morning, may I speak with the Assistant Coach,please?""Oh, I'm sorry. He's still on vacation.""I see. Is anyone on the coaching staff there?""No, they're all away right now. The club's closed foranother week yet. I'm only the Groundsman.""Well, thanks anyway. And hey, why say you're onlythe Groundsman? If it wasn't for you, there wouldn't be afootball club. They'd have nowhere to play!"(Pause)"Yeah, I'd never really thought of it like that.(Laughter) Thanks a lot, pal, you've made my day!" So often we do ourselves down, don't we? We devalue our owncontribution or service. "I'm only a shop assistant!" "I'monly a . . . " (fill in the blank!) Sometimes we even hearwomen say: "I'm just a housewife"! Confidence and self-esteem are often in short supply thesedays. And nowhere more so than in PARENTING! Even those who are superbly confident in their work orsocial situations, often teeter on the edge when it comes totheir parenting skills. Why? Is it something to do with the breakdown in old-fashionedvalues and concepts of authority; the widening gulf between kids and their parents; the dangers we as parents are so acutely aware of, but which are casually dismissed by ourkids? Whatever the causes, there's a lot you can do to improvethings. Step 1Dr Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power Of PositiveThinking, used to advise people to sit down and writeout a list of all their assets and abilities. But Dr Peale's next suggestion is crucial. Once the list ofassets and abilities has been written, he tells us to raisethe stakes. Simply BELIEVE that you are at the veryleast 10% better than you think. It's now widely acknowledged in modern psychology that you'll still be way off the mark! So have faith. You're better than you think. Step 2Do some study. You probably weren't taught parenting skillsat school or college, yet parenting is the most vital contribution to society. There are lots of books,courses, tapes, CDs and videos on parenting. No excuses!Grab some and get busy. Knowledge and insight bringconfidence. Whatever stage you're at, you can improveyourself. Step 3Learn to temper your reaction in stressful parenting situations. Easier said than done! But you can make a conscious effort to stay calm and remind yourself ofDr Peale's advice (You're more capable than you think youare!), and you can put into practice what you've beenstudying about family dynamics. Step 4 Develop yourself in some way. Yes, remember those piano lessons you once took, or that art class you attended? Interests like these are great stress relievers and they build self-confidence - which is vital for parenting. If you feel you're already confident in other matters, but it's only in parenting you feel a lack, why not take up some activity with your kids? Learning together brings youtogether, and can be great fun! Step 5 Finally, resist any temptation to go it alone. Nature intended us to be social creatures. Seek advice fromgrandparents, relatives, friends. Overcome your pride.Discuss your parenting challenges with others and draw onthe communal strength. And d'you know what? You'll findyou're not alone. Let's work on parenting together, as acommunity. Confident parents raise confident kids. Take action now. If you do nothing, you can look forward tomore of the same: worry, tension, ill-feeling etc etc. Zap these negative trends once and for all. To give yourselfa real boost, check out my website. There you'll find lotsmore to help you and your kids live life to the full. Why do some parents and children succeed, while othersfail?
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