www.1001TopWords.com |
Communication Mix-Up
My friend Delia is the owner of a small private school. This spring her school is experiencing the crunch of reduced enrollment for next September and all staff have been asked to take a six percent salary decrease. One staff member, much to Delia's horror, outright refused and resigned her teaching position at the school. Delia pleaded with her, telling her how valuable a teacher she was, how parents had come to count on her expertise, and essentially how the school couldn't operate without her. The next day she had reconsidered resigning her teaching position, saying that it was because of what Delia had said regarding how valuable she was to the school. Delia was flabbergasted! She thought that she had pampered her staff throughout the school year, giving them manicures, their birthday off, flowers or wine regularly, and dinners out. Did this staff member not see all of these treats as being rewards for her contribution to the success of the school? Guess not! We take in and store information using the following three main representational systems: Visual ? seeing We receive our information from the outside world in primarily pictures, sounds and feelings. We tend to have a dominant preference; we either prefer to receive our information from the world in one of three ways: 1. Visually, either externally or internally in our 'minds eye' as an image Even though we experience the world using all three representational systems, we generally favor one, use another as a secondary preference, and the third usually trails far behind. To quote Paul Newman, in the movie Cool Hand Luke, "What we have here is a failure to communicate". This failure to communicate has been created by crossing 'representational systems'. The teacher in question receives her information in an auditory manner. Delia, on the other hand, receives her information visually, or 'show me,' 'give me things,' 'let me see you do something'. Delia has been 'showing' her staff how valuable they are, where this staff member needed to 'hear' it. When you can figure out other people's representational systems or what sense they prefer to use when taking in information, you can communicate on their wavelength and enter their model of the world. The result is - presto, fewer communication mix-ups and instant rapport. Lesley Cordero is President of Cordero Consulting offering personal growth solutions in the form of workshops, keynote presentations, and Internet information resources. Subscribe to her free ezine "Deep Linking" at http://www.LesleyCordero.com and receive FREE the Special Report: Deep Linking - Articles on Change & Transformation. Are You Ready ... To See Things Differently?® is her new e-book.
|
RELATED ARTICLES
5 Management Decision Making Lessons from a Long Shot. A Heartening Belmont Victory Like many, I watched the 134th Belmont Stakes hoping to see the first Triple Crown in 24 years. Instead, I saw the 70-1 long shot, Sarava, appear from nowhere to win. We should take heart from this unlikely victory. As small business owners, managers, and entrepreneurs, the "big shots" often see us as long shots -- worth a cursory notice, but rarely more. Managing YOUR Expectations I sit on the board of an organization and at the last meeting found myself speaking with another board member named Standolyn Robertson. Standolyn is also a business owner and our conversation was about managing expectations ? both ours and our clients. She said something that is very true--'It is about using our knowledge and expertise to foresee and side-step roadblocks, revise unrealistic timelines and debunk myths.' And I couldn't agree more. A Renewed View of the Modern Business Culture Life can sometimes be unexciting if not refreshed by the will to create according to one's own conscience and freedom. Often, the power of passion fuses into unexciting or appealing activities. One sometimes expects to be free from the demands, the macro-strings of the society, so that one could do what one wishes. In many different ways, one could say that freedom of this nature may bring about towering creativity though it can also breed chaos. How to find a method that could encourage a pleasing freedom as well as bring about the desirable creativity is very important for the society in general and for business in particular. In short, a balance needs to be sought and erected. But the balance, as I will show, is the one that encourages conceptual creativity to soaring heights while it limits dispositions or practice in line with the prevailing macro- or micro-culture. Coaching Can Get The Boss In Shape Who tells the boss that they can improve their management or leadership? How do they look at themselves objectively and identify what areas they can improve and the benefits of doing so? Innovation Management ? Selecting Good Ideas Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation whilst innovation can be defined as idea selection, development and commercialisation. There are distinct processes that enhance problem identification and idea generation and, similarly, distinct processes that enhance idea selection, development and commercialisation. Whilst there is no sure fire route to commercial success, these processes improve the probability that good ideas will be generated and selected and that investment in developing and commercialising those ideas will not be wasted. Optimizing Your Cash Flow With Proper Accounts Receivable Management Businesses miss on growth opportunities and even close their doors every day, not because they aren't profitable enough, but because they are strangled by poor cash flow. The problem is that while their profit and loss statement shows success, their bank account cries poor. Excessive money tied up in delinquent receivables, bad checks, and bad debt write-offs, rob businesses of valuable cash flow, handcuffing their ability to grow or even stay in business at all. Five Steps to Successful Business Succession The great majority of family businesses in North America are still owned and operated by descendants of the founder. The business acumen that these first, second, third, and sometimes fourth generation managers possess largely determines how much longer the business will remain under family control. To perpetuate a business, the current owners and managers must first identify and then prepare a successor to take the reins. Small Business Outsourcing: An Introduction Outsourcing is the delegation of a business process to an external service provider. The service provider will then be responsible for the day-to-day running and maintenance of the delegated process. Understanding Every Aspect of Your Organization GET TO KNOW YOUR ORGANIZATION: If you don't understand an aspect of the organization or a procedure within it, ask. If you still don't understand, ask again. Question until you are sure you understand the topic. It's easy to feel your questions aren't sophisticated enough, especially when you work with people who have been doing what they do for years. Start with basic questions like "What does our organization do?" "How does our organization do it?" "Who needs our product?" "Who does what with that product?" "Who are the people who get the work done?" Most long-term employees love to answer questions that make them feel smart, and valuable. The Idol-Makers The end of the television season in May included the usual array of cliffhangers on shows like "Alias," the departure of Noah Wylie from "ER" and the finale of the highly-rated "Everybody Loves Raymond" after 210 episodes. On the last day of "Sweeps," more than 29 million people tuned in to see the crowning of the fourth "American Idol." Ten Relationship Traits And Skills For Good Leadership An important aspect of good leadership is the ability to work and relate with others. When creating and building your unique leadership style consistently developing relational skills is a priority. There are ten qualities that characterize successful leadership in the area of relating and communicating with other people. Smart Staffing Practices: Don?t Confuse Activity with Results Does your hiring process consist of proven practices or just a hodgepodge of activities that get into gear when someone says, "I need more people" or "Sally has left and we need someone to take her place NOW?" Lean Principles in Action Abstract Hold Your Applause! It's amazing what you can accomplish if you don't care who gets the credit. Harry S Truman The Power in Praising People One of the keys to success is to have successful relationships. We are not islands and we don't get to the top by ourselves. And one of the key ways to grow successful in our relationships is to be "life-giving" people to others. Every person we meet, we either give life to or take life from. You know what I mean. There are people who encourage you and when you are done being with them you feel built up. Then there are others who you feel torn down by. Successful people are people who have mastered the art of building others up. Pitching to Employees The senior flight attendant on the WestJet flight was starting the routine safety talk: the bit about flotation vests and emergency exits that we ignore at the beginning of every flight. Rethinking the CEO-Chairman Split Traditionally, in American businesses, the same person occupies the role of chairman of the board and chief executive officer, though this is gradually shifting to the European model. In most European, British, and Canadian businesses, the roles are usually split, in an effort to ensure better governance of the company, and in turn bring higher returns to investors. Too Much Time Treating Symptoms A man drives down the highway each day on his way to work. On Monday he gets a flat tire. Like anyone else, he takes his lumps, changes his tire, and moves on. Once Upon a Conflict Once upon a time there lived an innocent, hardworking manager. One day he dared to wander from the safety of his open-concept office to speak out at a team meeting. He was immediately challenged, nay attacked, by another team member and his senior manager, embarrassing him in front of his peers. Plagued by downsizing, this noble manager feared for his job. A senior human resource professional saved the day through mediation. From that day forward, the manager carried that scar and never trusted anyone enough to speak out again. Its Not Always What You Say A major source of communication breakdowns is incongruence between the words that people say and the nonverbal signals that they send, largely because we lose sight of the fundamental truth: You cannot not communicate. Every second that we are in the presence of another, we are constantly sending and receiving messages, often silent, nonverbal messages that can either augment our communication effectiveness or detract from it. These non-word symbols are the first things we notice about others and the first things they notice about us. They provide information about gender, age, preferences, emotions, and group membership. |
© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |