|
|
| www.1001TopWords.com |
|
|
How To Deal With People Who Dislike You
When you read books on personal development and articles about making your life better the emphasis is generally on the positive. You learn all about deciding what you want and how to get it. However you also need specific guidelines for dealing with situations when nothing seems to be working despite your best efforts. One of the hardest things to deal with is the fact that some people will dislike you no matter how wonderful you are. The reasons why someone does not like you may be incorrect, unfair or unjust. Yet they still affect how that person deals with you. I recommend a three step plan to deal with this challenge: 1. Penetrate The Peer Group Find the peer group of the person who dislikes you and seek to make friends with people in this group. Build a positive reputation with these people one at a time and your public image will shift in the eyes of the person who you are having trouble with. This is like doing your own P.R. campaign directly to the people who have the most influence over the opinions of the person who dislikes you. Peer group pressure is a powerful way to change the perceptions of a group member. 2. Find Reasons To Like The Person When someone clearly dislikes you what usually happens next? You start to actively dislike that person in return! It becomes a feeding frenzy that can spiral out of control very quickly. The other person sees your negative reaction to them and responds accordingly. You feel and see how much disdain they have for you and you respond with more hate. Like a game of tennis the negative feelings bounce back and forth. You can break this cycle. How? By deciding to find ways to like the person. Here are two ways to get started: 1. Make a quick list of things you like or could like about this person. Be creative. The more reasons the better. 2. List the ways the person is like you. This may be an eye opener because we often have very strong reactions to people who display characteristics we dislike about ourselves. The more reasons you come up with the easier it will be for you to feel positive towards the other person. This change in your non verbal communication will be noticeable and will help ease some of the tension in the air. This is often when the dynamics of the relationship can shift unexpectedly for the better. Deciding to like the other person regardless of how they are behaving is the first step to making this happen. At the very least you will feel better. And when you feel better it is a lot easier to find solutions to deal with these tricky situations. 3. Take Baby Steps Towards Greater Rapport With someone who dislikes you the same rules of rapport still apply only you need to have more patience. Aim to make slight gradual progress with the person in question and over time you can shift the relationship from negative to neutral and maybe even to positive. And be kind to yourself if the whole situation still upsets you. It is perfectly natural to feel uncomfortable when someone dislikes you. However it is foolish to roll over and play dead. Take charge of your communication with this person and aim to improve the situation. The little progress you make will boost your confidence and help you communicate even better with everyone else you ever meet. About The Author Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Training is Not the Same Thing as Exercising What it takes to GROW! Coaching Can Help Teachers At A Crossroads In Their Careers Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others, but after years in the field it can lose its luster. If it's no longer offering satisfaction the way it once did find out how you can get the joy back. The Incredible Rightness of Being An Age-Old Question What Do You Have To Give? "Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes from appreciating what we have, instead of being miserable about what we don't have. It's so simple-yet so hard for the human mind to comprehend." ~ Bits & Pieces Business Coaching - Ten Ways of Dealing with Mistakes You Made You can either choose to dwell on what happened and get stuck in the past or you can choose to start using your energy to build your future. Either choice is okay. But ask yourself which choice is the most empowering? Should you choose to start to create your future here are some tips that can ease the process. The Art of Change We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find a lot of opinionated opposition if it implied a lack of growth, whether that be on a knowledgeable level, a logical or spiritual one, but in this case we refer to ourselves and who we are in relation to who we were when we decided to grace this world with our presence. Budda In Your Back Pocket The other day I was late for something. Not very late. In fact, I was actually on time but an angry voice berated me anyway, saying, "You are late! There will be no seats left. You wouldn't run late if you were more organized!" It was a terrible feeling, especially because the voice was partially right. Difficult Challenges? -- What If? Sometimes life can seem like one long series of unsolvable problems. I know there have been times when I would much rather find something else to do and quit whatever I was doing simply because it was too much trouble to continue. In fact, earlier in my life that is exactly what I did do. (And to tell the truth, I wouldn't change it even if I could!) Aim For Your Star "Aim for your star, no matter how far, you must reach high above and touch your life with love, you must never look back, but charge on! Attack! See your goal your star of desire, see it red hot, feel it burning, you must be obsessed with it to make it your true yearning, be ready my friends for when you truly believe it, you will certainly achieve it and by all of God's universal laws you will always receive it!"Bob Smith(American editor, author, founder of Orison Swett Marden Foundation) Smelling the Roses: Better Living Through Savoring "Stop and smell the roses," people often say. Then they smile ruefully, because everybody knows there isn't enough TIME to stop or, as my daughter says, to "chill." Overcoming Work Addiction Why are you so busy? Do you really have too much work? Is work so important to you that you'll sacrifice just about anything in your life to get the job done? Even if it's at the expense of your health and your relationships? The Real Truth About Working Smarter, Not Harder Running a business or department can often stretch you to the limit. It?s All To Do With The Way You Wake Up Do you start your day with anger, frustration and annoyance at the alarm and the need to get up? Do you wake up hoping the day will go away and you can get back to sleep? Have you lost the fun? The confidence to have a go at things. Are you struggling along? Are you just going through the rituals of life? Are you just doing enough at work? Doing what is necessary because you think you 'ought, should, must do this for the sake of others? Do you feel all washed up and no one is interested in you? Do you feel devoid of vibrancy, and sense of purpose, an aimless victim buffeted by the winds of change? It's all to do with the way you wake up. What Is A Personal Trainer Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets. What do you do first? Is this one safe? Are you using it right? There are so many questions to ask about trying to get physically fit as well. How much should you push yourself? How much is too much? Coaching Prime Time An awful lot of fantastic coaching has been coming out of Hollywood lately, have you noticed? Self-contentment Leads to Confidence Being self-content means accepting and acknowledging who you are at your core and becoming satisfied -- maybe not perfect, but satisfied -- in all areas of your life. When you learn to better understand, better appreciate and eventually love yourself, you exude a quiet confidence that will open doors to what you want in life. One way to develop a strong sense of self-contentment is to give yourself the gift of self-appreciation. Offer yourself the same respect and kindness you give to others you care deeply for. In doing so, you will feel more at peace with yourself, be strong in your convictions and easily stand up for yourself. Here are three ways to support you in becoming more confident. 1. Silence Your Inner CriticMany women have a tendency to focus on what is "wrong" about themselves rather than what is "right." We tend to pick out and pick on the parts of ourselves we like the least. This disapproving inner critic (that little voice inside our head that points our faults and undermines our achievements) needs to be silenced. Instead of focusing on what you don't like about yourself, do your best to acknowledge and appreciate what makes you unique. Your smile. Your sense of humor. Your eyes. Now go further. What qualities define you as a person? Resist the temptation to criticize yourself. This is a learned behavior and it can be unlearned with intentional action.2. Surround Yourself with Positive Environments In order to remain confident or regain confidence, you have to ensure that you surround yourself with positive environments ? emotionally and physically. This means cultivating friendships that enrich your life. A well-meaning friend that consistently points out your faults may be undermining your sense of self. Seek out people who care about you and can list all your lovely qualities instead. Fill your personal space with objects that inspire you, such as pictures of loved ones, keepsakes and favorite books. 3. Acknowledge Your AchievementsLike most women, you may have been brought up not to be boastful. However, there is a distinction between bragging and not recognizing your accomplishments and contributions. We have all achieved things in our lives, both big and small, personally and professionally. But oftentimes, we cross that achievement off our "to-do" list and quickly move to the next item, with little or no celebration. When you give yourself permission to feel positive about your accomplishments and refuse to listen to your inner critic, you will feel pleased within yourself. You will proudly share your wins, rather than apologize for them. You might even amaze yourself when triumphal works such as "I am one awesome lawyer," "I am the best mother ever," or "I rock" roll off your tongue with hardly at thought. The Student Who Knew Too Much This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? Leading Grief Groups: The Preliminaries Preparation: Executive Coaching -The Business Benefits Executive coaching is an investment for you and your business and you need to understand what returns you will get. How exactly will you benefit from it? 9 Guidelines For Spiritual Coaching Spirituality coaching is more than creating goals and holding someone accountable. Spirituality coaching takes into account the whole person, that is, mind, body and spirit. Spirituality coaching focuses on one's essential well being that can only be accessed from one's Inner Core, one's essence. The aim of spirituality coaching is true and lasting transformation, and a true congruence between one's inter behavior and outer behavior, allowing one to show up in integrity and authentically. The following nine spiritual guidelines can serve as a foundation for spirituality coaching.
|
| © Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |