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If Only, If Only, If Only
Remove these words from your vocabulary! The words "If only ?" are disempowering and focus solely on the past. So many times people say, "If only I had chosen this career, if only I hadn't listened to her, if only I knew then what I know now ?" Well, you didn't choose that career, you did listen to her and you didn't know then what you know now, so don't spend another minute fretting over the past because you have no control over it. You do, however, have control over what you think, say and do now and that is where you create your power. What is important to know is that you have not failed; you have merely created a result. If you are unhappy with the result, then do something about it, but do not place blame on yourself, previous circumstances or anyone else. There will be times when you make decisions that will cause you pain or move you backwards instead of forwards. Human beings possess an intelligence that is beyond measure and comprehension. We have the ability to adapt, overcome and evolve. If you are not creating the result you desire, then change your game plan. The past serves only one purpose and that is to teach. As soon as you claim responsibility for creating that which you choose, you will grant yourself power. If you place blame on sources external to you or past events, you will be giving your power away. Amazingly enough, people spend approximately 85-95 percent of their time focusing on problems and five percent focusing on solutions. During the next two weeks, make a conscious effort to listen to your inner dialogue. As soon as you catch yourself holding a negative thought or starting a sentence with, "If only ?" stop yourself and replace the thought with a positive one or with thoughts on finding a solution or next step to take. You can program yourself to be solution-oriented instead of problem or regret-oriented. Practice the above exercise every minute of every day and you will develop the habit of highly successful and happy people. May the rest of your life, be the best of your life. Laurie Hayes, one of Canada's leading Life Strategy Coaches, works with people who want to create change or make improvements in their personal and professional lives. She is the author of a bi-weekly newsletter, "The Heart of Living," and a free e-book, "10 Guidelines for Attraction." To secure a copy of her free book, visit http://www.wheretheheartis-lifecoaching.com
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