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< 6 Creative Questions To Move From HOW Are You To WHO Are You
Imagine you just met someone new. The formalities of names, jobs and the like have been exchanged and you seem to be getting along famously. But before you know it, a few minutes pass ? and it looks like you're running out of clichés! Now what? There comes a time in every conversation with someone you've just met when you must cross the chasm between "HOW are you?" and "WHO are you?" A helpful technique for doing so is by asking creative, open ended questions. These questions function as front porches, inasmuch as their ability to build rapport, spark creativity and invite people to share their experiences and preferences. What's more, they show an interest in people's opinions and insights. The following list is an excerpt from my most recent book, The Power of Approachability, which has just been released and is available for sale on www.hellomynameisscott.com. 1) Who are some of your mentors? My friend Michael, for example, has a life coach, business mentor and spiritual advisor! When I first learned these facts about him I gained a new insight into the type of person he was. As a result I felt more comfortable sharing those same insights about myself. That's another beautiful thing about asking these types of questions: self-disclosure. 2) What's the one book that's been most influential on your business? I gave a speech a few days ago during which I asked the audience this question. The responses were excellent...and varied. People yelled titles ranging from The Bible to How to Win Friends and Influence People to The Yellow Pages (nice creative thinking on that last one!)
A few weeks ago I popped this question during the Q & A session of a National Speakers Association meeting. When I finished, the room "ooooohed." It sounded like a studio audience of a sitcom! Then the panelist I addressed chuckled and offered his response, which was a story about a failed project he worked on a few years back. When he finished a few minutes later he said, "Thanks ? that was a really great question!" 4) What part of your job do you enjoy the most? Take my dad, for example. He's worked in the closeout business for about 30 years as the president of the St. Louis based CWC Inventories (Closeouts with Class). When I asked him this question he said, "The Booth! I LOVE standing at our booth at those trade shows, talking to customers we've had for 20 years, showing them new deals. That's the best part about my job." If you only used one question from this article, this should be the one. Ask it today. And just watch how the dynamic of your conversation partner's persona changes. It's beautiful. 5) What quotations or motivational phrases do you live by? Next time you have a meeting or a group session, try this activity out. And just watch the connections spark. 6) What's your preferred method of getting the news? A great benefit of this question is its leveraging ability. Say your friend is obsessed with talk radio, and you come across a great new program on your local station. Well?call him up! Tell him you heard about this great new show and say "I thought you might like this." It will make his day! What's more, he'll KNOW you were taking an interest during that initial conversation when you learned this information. He'll REMEMBER how you engaged with him. And he'll FEEL the transition from HOW are you to WHO are you. After all, that's what unforgettable communication is all about. © 2005 All Rights Reserved. Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.
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