Learning Responsibility is a Lifelong Process

Learning responsibility is an ever widening and lifelongprocess.

As thinking, acting human beings we have the ability to choose our responseto events, people and circumstances. We do not become responsible whenwe mature; we mature when we become responsible.

Psychologists teach that the only reasons people are ever motivated ormoved to action is to gain a reward or avoid a penalty. As you teach thisprincipal to the children in your charge be sure to explain what they willgain or lose by the choices they make.

ME: I am in charge of those things that directly affect me as a person.

Examples are:

Grooming, nutrition, exercise, education, choosing friends, a mate or a career. Mychoices might irritate or disappoint others but the consequences will ultimately hurt onlyme.

YOU: My actions in this circle affect those I love and care about. I want you to like andapprove of me, so I am motivated to do what will please you. I have a responsibility tothose who work or live with me to do the things I say I will, accept blame when I amwrong, make restitution, be co-operative, care for my possessions and safeguard otherpeople's resources. Consequences have a ripple effect on those around me and will affectmy daily life.

US: The community within 10 miles of wherever I am standing determines us. Somepeople and organizations I know, some I don't know yet, but they are a part of myextended neighborhood. This is the place to practice random acts of kindness, courtesyand service. We are each the representative of the groups we belong to; family, teenagers,school, soccer team etc. The whole may be judged and influenced by our individualactions and role model. The reward may come later in life in the form ofrecommendations, job offers, networking and a stronger more vibrant community.

The Universe: I have a responsibility to the universal family of humankind to make theworld a better place. I need to be a part of the solution of preserving the earth,eliminating bigotry, giving service, and treating others, as I would like to be treated. TheUniverse may never give me a tangible reward, but I will gain an inner reward of doingright and making good choices for the higher good of all. I recognize that I have aresponsibility to not only have positive actions, but thoughts, words and intentionstowards others and to act with dignity, respect and love.As parents and leaders we need to give children the opportunity to be responsible asearly as possible. Teach the concept of a pause button in order to stop, think andchoose before acting. Whenever they are allowed to have a voice and a choice, theywill grow up knowing that they have the power to guide the outcome of their life andcontribute to the well being of the group.

This handout© 2003 has been prepared by Judy H. Wright, Missoula, MT parent educator and author. You may have permission tomake copies for other parents and teachers but the entire article, including the signature line, must be included. A complete list ofparenting books, aids, workshops and a FREE ezine is available at www.ArtichokePress.com. To contact us, please writejudywright@artichokepress.com or call 406-549-9813.