How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported?

Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse victims never report the crime or get help in coming to grips with this life-changing trauma. They move into adulthood with a broken heart and low self esteem. Much misbehavior and acting out can be traced to an incident which occurred which left the child feeling confused, betrayed and angry.

In an attempt to cope with the confusing reality of what has happened to them, many children develop survival skills or behaviors that will help them to cover up what they are really feeling. Families, friends and society sometimes see and judge the problem behavior when it is actually a symptom of the internal pain which has never been addressed.

The number of reports is rising each year due to mandatory reporting laws, better public education and greater public awareness of the problem. Over the last 30 years many key developments in law enforcement have made it easier to deal with victims and their families with greater understanding, making it easier for them to come forward and ask for help.

In the Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, they found that of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse-not even a friend or sibling. If indeed, sexual abuse happens to one in four children, yet only 1.8 cases are reported per 1,000 children you have to wonder why.

The most common reasons given by victims for not reporting these crimes to authorities:

1. They feel no one will believe them, as the perpetrator has told them repeatedly.

2. They are so consumed with self-blame and shame that it happened to them.

3. A parent or another adult believes them, but doesn't want to involve outside parties. They feel it is a private matter and they will just keep the child away from the individual who was hurting them, so as not to disturb the family unit or community.

4. The child or the family is afraid of reprisal from the assailant.

There is always hope and assistance for recovery:

Even if your child or you made a decision to not report it at the time abuse happened, please check out the resources in back of my book: Aware, Assertative but Not Afraid-Protecting Your Children From Sex Abuse and Finding Help if It Has Occurred. I have included almost 100 resources for help. There are so many different methods and techniques to help you heal and gain greater understanding of what has happened to you or your child. No one deserves to suffer from painful memories. Healing is possible no matter how long ago the abuse took place. There is help, guidance and tools available to assist both victims and perpetrators overcome painful pasts and look forward to a future full of hope and promise.

Every state has a child-protection agency that is responsible for investigating sexual-abuse complaints. Any incident, or suspected incident, should be reported to this agency and to the police. Go with the child and then refrain from talking about the incident in front of people who really don't need to know. When you report it to the police, ask for an officer trained in dealing with children and ask for a private place to discuss the situation. Children are usually a little bit more open with someone who does not remind them of the perpetrator. Stay with your child and support him/her as they answer questions.

What should a parent do:

Tell them again and again, that they are not at fault. Reiterate that it is the job of adults to protect children, not hurt them. Reassure them that you believe them and will support their efforts and those of the police in seeing this never happens to another child. Most offenders molest more than one child; especially in cases of incest. Breaking the silence and reporting the perpetrator to the authorities or a trusted adult will protect other children. Be sure to tell your child it takes courage to speak out when things are wrong, and you are proud of them for stepping forward.

This article has been written by Judy H. Wright, a parent educator and PBS consultant. You will find a full listing of books, tele-classes, and workshops listed at www.ArtichokePress.com. You have permission to use the article providing full credit is given to author. She may be contacted at 406-549-9813 or JudyWright@ArtichokePress.com

RELATED ARTICLES

Raise Your Child to Be a Leader Not a Follower
Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table. In this day of working moms and fast food eating, sitting down together for dinner is sometimes neglected. However, it is often the foundation of family life and should become a treasured tradition.

Hiking with Children
There is nothing quite like hiking with small children. The thrill of introducing these young ones to the wonder of nature is matched only by their eyes as they take it all in. If you follow a few simple rules when hiking with children, things go extremely well. Forget these simple rules and your treks with the young can be a recipe for disaster.

Top 20 Items To Pack In A Diaper Bag
1. Diapers (5 -7 is a fairly safe supply)

How to Assist Troubled Teens
What parents of a teen haven't wondered where their sweet child went and who the angry and rebellious child is that took his or her place. After all, adolescence is a time of change. While each child is different, there are some behaviors that all normal teens seem to exhibit. These include: acting moody and/or rude, complaining about parental interference, experimenting with sex and/or drugs, searching for a sense of identity, showing less affection to parents and/or siblings.

Potty Training Battle of the Wills
Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and resist against the potty. Potty training should never turn into the battle of the wills. If it does, both you and your child will loose. When dealing with strong-willed child, it's best to turn potty training into a game. Use the following suggestions to make potty training fun and exciting for you and your child:

Why Modern Moms Are Going Back to the Basics ? The Evolution of the Cloth Diaper
Having a baby is one of the most exciting times of your life. It is also one of the most stressful. So many decisions have to be made about nearly every aspect of your baby's comfort, safety, and happiness. You spend hours pouring over pregnancy and child rearing books, picking out the perfect crib, finding the most adorable and comfortable clothing, and envisioning the safest and most peaceful birth for your baby as possible. No doubt somewhere in your planning you have thought about how many diapers you will need for your new little one and perhaps you have even purchased some in advance. If you are like the majority of parents out there, then you have automatically decided upon disposable diapers without ever giving it a second thought. Stop right there! There is an alternative; consider using cloth diapers.

Creating a Memorable Travel Journal Using A Stuffed Animal
You may remember The Red Couch Project, a book by artists Kevin Clarke and William Least Heat published in the 1980s documenting the travels of a red velvet couch across America.

The Scientific Breakthrough That Allows Every Couple To Choose The Gender Of Their Baby
The advances in science over the past century have been breath-taking. We've seen man stroll casually on the moon, watched in awe as scientists cloned and brought a sheep to life using nothing more than a few strands of microscopic DNA and we witnessed some stunning improvements in the fields of medicine and care ? for example, Viagra to some has been the discovery of a lifetime.

ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend
Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If so-- my hat is off to you! ADD / ADHD children are brilliant, full of energy, smart as a whip (as grandma says), and tons of work. They are also the rising sun and the setting star: meaning much of life revolves around them in one way or another. One tactic you might employ is to: be your child's best friend.

Why Do People Have Kids?
Despite the theory that people have kids because they want and have planned for a family; the truth is that most people have kids because a woman gets pregnant. That is about the only reason. Did you know that 75% of all children in the United States are born out of wedlock and that the number is increasing each and every year? And folks these numbers are just in the United States, the world average is much higher. Only 50% of the kids in this country live in a household with two parents.

Should We Apologize To Our Children?
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes we may believe that if we apologize to our children we weaken ourselves and the rules we are trying to keep. We may also believe it will make our children think their behavior was okay. It is important to understand that this is not the case. I have found myself at times reacting negatively to my daughter's occasional inattention to her daily diabetes care. Not just negatively but loudly. What I discovered was that I could apologize for how I responded to her behavior, without condoning what she did. (Or didn't do) Apologizing in this manner makes it clear that I am not relaxing the rules. It does not undermine my authority or my ability to make the rules and expect compliance. I found it does set a good example and encourages her to be open and apologize when she has done wrong. Apologizing shows empathy for what I may have done to her feelings and respect for her right to be treated fairly.

Saying No To Our Children
Saying no to our children is not always easy or pleasant. Sometimes it is very hard work and we don't want to face the struggle. Most of us at some time will find ourselves saying yes when we know we should have said no. Some people almost never say no. The funny thing is though, the more I am prepared to say no, and mean it, and enforce it, the less I have to say it. Children get the message. We have to say no to our diabetic children often enough, for health reasons, that you would think we would be better at it for other things. I know sometimes I feel a little guilty saying no to something after a series of diabetes related no's. But I still have to say no anyway. Parents who have to say no for most of the day will probably admit that they are not enforcing it. They give in too soon. When you do this you are sending mixed messages to your children about what they are and are not allowed to do. There are many reasons why we find it difficult to say no. However, there are some common patterns that we all display at some time or another. These are some common reasons, I know I need to raise my own hand at a couple of these.

Single Mother Sanity Savers Pt. 1
Being a single mother is no easy task. I know. I was a single mother of two children less than six months ago, so I can say with some authority that being a single mother is a beast. It can drive you crazy if you let it. The insanity is not just that you have to raise children alone and be mother and father. The craziness gets worse when you add a full-time job, not enough money, societal pressure, not to mention being blamed for all of society's ill. How does a single mother remain graceful under pressure? How does she keep from wielding a knife at the next person that tell her "it's not that bad"? What keeps her from pulling her hair out at a minimum, and at a maximum keep from killing herself, her children, or just her spirit? The following five Sanity Savers offers some solutions that I find help get me through some really rough times. They may be a temporary, just for the moment fix, but then again sometime that's all a haggard single mother needs.

Parenting Your Teenager: What Teens Say About Parents
What's hard for teenagers

7 Easy Ideas for Organizing Kids Artwork
In school, kids are encouraged to create, draw, color, paint and build. These activities can certainly stimulate children, and help them grow.

How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped to bring about a near revolution in the way teachers interact with their young charges.

Water! Water Everywhere!
What one word best sums up summer fun? Water. I bet your favorite memories as a child involved getting wet, running through sprinklers on a sweltering afternoon, water fights in the backyard, wading at the beach, playing on the slip & slide, and skipping rocks across the river. Your kids will relish the same experiences if they share them with you.

The Seven Keys to Child Obedience
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This is the tool that allows you as parents to train your child. Through obedience your child will learn self-control and develop other positive character traits that he will need as an adult.

The Truth Behind Having Children
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of sexual instinct. Later it was a means to increase manpower for survival (hunting the mastodon, tilling the fields). It was just a part of life, even what one aspired to. A strapping daughter was great, a robust son perhaps even better.

Parents --- Homeschooling Can Take a Lot Less Time Than You Think
The time you will need to teach your children the essentials - reading, writing, and arithmetic - is much less than you think. Let me quote author and former public-school teacher John Gatto from his wonderful book, Dumbing Us Down:

home | site map | www.1001topwords.com