|
|
| www.1001TopWords.com |
|
|
When Parents Disagree
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting would be easier if you didn't have to make family decisions? Having a partner that is not in agreement with your parenting ideas or discipline approaches is more than just frustrating. It can be a cause of division in even the best of relationships. Furthermore, how you handle your disagreements will have a direct impact on your relationship with your partner and with your children. It would be great if every couple agreed on everything but that is an unlikely event. One partner may have been raised in a relaxed environment; another may have been raised in a very strict home. What is acceptable by one partner may be appalling to another. It is important to discuss with your partner what your parenting objectives are. Decide what values are important to both of you. You will find that some things are more important to you than to your partner and vice versa. Here are some steps you can do to work towards resolving parenting disagreements. 1. Discuss your parenting objectives. What is important to both of you? Sit down with your partner and decide what values are most important. Also what areas are not as important? 2. Talk about where your children are developmentally and what they are capable of understanding. Sometimes the reasons for parenting disputes are because one partner thinks that a child is capable of understanding something and the other disagrees. Knowing what your child's cognitive level is will help you to make better decisions. Do not compare your child to other children. You can use examples based on what they are capable of doing and not doing. For instance, if you ask them to get something out of their toy box, do they understand and go get it? If not expecting your child to be able to understand certain things may be unreasonable. 3. Find out what both of your parenting strengths and weaknesses are. Many times both parents want the same things for their kids. Compliment your partner on his/her strengths. Don't just point out your partner's flaws. 4. The majority of parenting disagreements are over discipline methods and when it is appropriate to discipline. One parent may think that spanking is the best method and the other may prefer time outs or something else. One of the most effective ways to resolve this issue is to talk about it. Find out the reasons why your partner feels the way he/she does. There are pros and cons to every form of parenting. Talk about why your partner thinks his/her discipline style is the better method. Sometimes talking about it will help you to see each other's point of view. 5. If the discussion gets heated, agree to disagree. Fighting about how to parent is only going to make the situation worse. Walk away, take a break and discuss it when you are not angry. 6. Plan ahead. Discuss problem situations you are having with your children. For instance, if you are having a problem with your child having temper tantrums, discuss how you think this should be handled. If you have a plan in action, it will be easier for both of you to follow each other's wishes. 7. Pick your battles. Some things you may never agree on. You don't have to agree on everything. Find the issues that are most important to you and work on resolving those first. 8. Do not argue about parenting in front of your children. This is easier said than done. The best way to handle a situation you don't agree with is not to interrupt but to wait till later and then discuss how you think it could have been handled differently. 9. Work on role modeling communication. If your children see that you communicate and problem solve together, they will grow up to do the same. Children often repeat patterns of their own parents. Look at your relationship and evaluate how you communicate. Is this the way you would like your children to communicate with their future partner? 10. Parenting and relationships are a growing process. The more you communicate the better parent/partner you will be. Learn from each other and listen to each other. Build on your parenting strengths and tackle your parenting weaknesses a little at a time. It won't happen over night but if you continue to discuss things with your partner calmly and positively you will become better parenting partners. About The Author Patty Hone is a wife and mommy to three kids. She is also the owner of Justmommies.com. Justmommies is an online community for mommies to make friends and find support. Please visit Justmommies at http://www.justmommies.com.
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Break Free From Power Struggles You want your daughter to wear a dress to the party. She wants to wear jeans. You want your toddler to take his medicine. He does everything he can to keep that yucky stuff out of his mouth. The more you insist, the more they resist. You can break free from power struggles and turn turbulence into positive growth opportunities by putting a few helpful tips in place: Whats in a Name? My cousin boasts five names and I confess that when I was younger that irritated me enormously. Worse than that, my sole middle name is Norman, just as my father's was before me, and his father before him. It didn't seem to do them any harm, lugging round such a tag all their lives, though I'd prefer not to have to. The Effects of Televised Sexual Content on Adolescents According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,"Adolescents who watch large amounts of television containing sexualcontent are twice as likely to begin engaging in sexual intercourse inthe following year as their peers who watch little such TV." Inaddition, the National Institutes of Health-funded study found thatthese children's sexual behavior was akin to those adolescents who were9 to 17 months older, but who watched only average amounts of TV withsexual content. "Television habits predicted whetheradolescents went to 'second or third base,' as well as whether they hadsex for the first time," said Rebecca Collins, a RAND psychologist wholed the study. "The 12-year-olds who watched a lot of television withsexual content behaved like the 14- or 15-years-olds who watched theleast amount of sexual television. The advancement in sexual behavior wesaw among kids who watched a lot of sexual television was striking." This alarming trend occurs within the context of ever-increasingamounts of implicit and over sexual content on television. As reportedby the Parents Television Council, "In a sample of programming from the2001-2002 TV season, sexual content appeared in 64% of all TV programs.Those programs with sexually related material had an average of 4.4scenes per hour. Talk of sex is more frequent (61%) vs. overt portrayals(32%). One out of every 7 programs includes a portrayal of sexualintercourse." According to the RAND study, talk of sex had just as muchof an effect on adolescent sexual behavior as overt behaviors. Sexual behavior among U.S. teens is on the rise. According to the U.S.Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 46% of all high schoolstudents have had sexual intercourse. The National Institutes of Healthhas found that, each year, one of every four sexual active teenscontracts a sexually transmitted disease. Teen pregnancy in the U.S. isalso the highest among industrialized nations. Now, more thanever, parents need to be concerned about what their children arewatching on television. The first step parents need to take is tomonitor the content of the shows their adolescents watch. According toRAND researcher Collins, "The impact of television viewing is so largethat even a moderate shift in the sexual content of adolescent TVwatching could have a substantial effect on their sexual behavior." Other important steps you can take to curb or mitigate yourchildren's exposure to sexual content on television include:Watch TV with your children and discuss your beliefs about sex and about the sexual behaviors portrayed on TV. Develop TV-watching guidelines for your children and enforce them. Limit the amount of time your children watch TV. Instead, use family movie reviews to rent movies with appropriate content. Encourage and reward your children for reading instead of watching TV. Encourage your children to find and develop non-television related hobbies and interests. By taking these simple steps, you can help to ensure that youradolescents' attitudes and beliefs about sex more closely mirror yourown, and that their sexual initiation is delayed. Childrens Allowance When we consider that the word allowance means, "allowing for," it puts that "A" word into better perspective. Will My Doubts and Fears Affect My Child? "Will my doubts and fears affect my child?" This father is concerned about his son, a high school athlete with a vision of playing professional sports. The father's fear is that his son won't be accepted into the 'right' college to be scouted by the professionals. He wanted to know: Parenting Your Teenager: How to Build Trust ``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend Jenny?'' Managing Sibling Rivalry It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward others. A moderate spirit of competition is a positive and productive attribute in school and in business. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up in families. The competition between siblings starts when the second child is born. Unfortunately, many parents ignore it and some even make the situation worse. Sometimes Our Childrens Questions Answer Our Own I was changing Ford's diaper the other day when he asked, "Mom, will we always have Tanner?" Hurting from the Outside - In: The Rise of Self-harming Ask any teacher or adolescent counselor what the most disturbing trend they are seeing in teens today is, and they are likely to tell you it's the growing number of "cutters". The Science of Mother Love A growing body of scientific evidence shows that the way babies are cared for by their mothers will determine not only their emotional development, but the biological development of the child's brain and central nervous system as well. The nature of love, and how the capacity to love develops, has become the subject of scientific study over the last decade. New data is emerging from a multitude of disciplines including neurology, psychology, biology, ethology, anthropology and neurocardiology. Something scientific disciplines find in common when putting love under the microscope is that in addition to shaping the brains of infants, mother's love acts as a template for love itself and has far reaching effects on her child's ability to love throughout life. Over-Indulgence And Over-Attentiveness - Two Dangers Parents Must Avoid! We're all familiar with the over-indulgent parent. Butthere's another parenting practice that can be equallyharmful: over-attentiveness. Legacy to Your Children John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.com Bad Company Here we will come to know who are the most responsible person to make your child an addicted person & failure. Children and Mom and Paper Memorabilia ? Children can create enough artwork for an entire gallery in a few short weeks. The key here is choices; establish a particular place-e.g., basket, drawer, or shelf ? for each child to put artwork. When that space is full, have one-on-one time with Mom and select your "three favorites". This is a lesson in life, which is continually full of choices. Then create a Memorabilia Box for each child where the favorites are kept. Keep the box in a convenient place, with the lid off, so it's easy to add new items. Use the same approach for photographs. A great parent-child activity is "scrap booking" ? have your child help make a family album, or get double prints, and let the children make their own. If you're not into albums, use attractive boxes. If you're on a tight budget you can use shoeboxes. Label the outside of each packet with the contents (e.g., Lee's 5th birthday, Mary's soccer outfit, etc.) with the date. At the end of the year, store your calendar with the photos in case you decide you want to create albums when the children are grown and you need to retrieve more specific dates. The key here is "Less is more." A few great photos are far superior to boxes of unidentified ones! One of the biggest causes of clutter ? and family disagreements -- is paper. Create a filing system for important papers. Create one file for each child for each area. For example, Medical Records ? Mary, St. John's High School ? Tom. Children can begin their own filing systems as soon as they start school. The key to any effective filing system is a File Index. This can be a handwritten list, a word processing document, a spreadsheet, or you can use Taming the Paper Tiger software (see below). A File Index will help you avoid making a file for "Summer Camp" when you already have one for "Camp Wesley." Here's a sample of some other file headings for information that children might like to file: Cartoons I like English Homework Family Information Friends Fun Things to Keep Gift Ideas for me Gift Ideas for others Hairstyles I like Math Homework New Year's Resolutions Phone Numbers/Addresses Recipes I can make Savings Account Scouting Information Summer Camp Information Back to School; Time to Recharge The back-to-school shopping is done. Brand new pencils, colored markers, and notebooks fill my daughter's back pack. I've cleaned off the refrigerator in preparation for the new onslaught of pictures and class notices. School's started. She is excited to be back amongst her friends. I find myself in the everyday routine of waking up in the dark, fixing breakfast and packing lunches. Even though my daughter is old enough to drive herself to school this year, I still rush out the door behind her dressed in sweat pants and no makeup. After a quick work out and a shower, my work day finally begins. It's good to be back in the routine. How to Make Kids More Likeable? Nothing touches the heartstrings of a parent more than the plaintive cry "nobody likes me" or "I don't have any friends." We wish there were something we could do to insure our child will be, if not the most popular, at least included in the games on the playground. Actually, there is something we can do to increase their acceptance by the group and become more approachable to others. Homeschooling ? Is It Worth It? Suppose that you rearrange your life to homeschool your child and the experiment fails? You may feel that you've disrupted your life and wasted a year of your child's time. Your child may even be kept back a grade by the local public school. Stay at Home Mom You Need to Raise Cowboys Now I know that is not how the song goes, I have had cousins from central Texas drag me to Gilley's to listen to that song live and they sang every word without missing a beat. So no emails about the title, please. Treatment Options for ADHD Ritalin has been shown through the years to be very effective in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder symptoms. Although it has potential side-effects which many families would like to avoid, we have seen it help a lot of people. More recently, other interventions such as EEG biofeedback training have shown themselves to be very useful in treatment as well. A great deal of energy and money has also been invested into the development of non-prescription treatments for ADD ADHD. Coping with the Stress of Moving Home and Childrens Concerns Moving house can be an emotional experience for adults, so imagine how much more unsettling it can be for children who don't really understand what's going on.
|
| © Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |
