|
|
| www.1001TopWords.com |
|
|
Golf Humor Poetry:- Ode to the Fanatical Golfer (Part One)
He wanted golf to be experienced by all, And hoped his daughter would heed the call."C'mon!", he said. "You'll have a ball!""Why?", she asked. "Are we going to the mall?" He'd often take his golf cart to work,And all his co-workers there would smirk.He didn't know why, and thought, "They're jerks!""How could they belittle such a perk?!" His swing was big and grand, yet dopey,He cried and cried when he made a bogey.Kids thought, "What's wrong with this old fogey?"He thought, "I'm not old. I sport a goatee." He loved his old and tattered bag,His caddie thought it was such a drag.But he hated more "golf cart tag",The golfer played with him, when he didn't move the flag! Forever chasing the elusive par,He'd hit the ball straight and far.In the traps, his ball seemed stuck to tar!He'd still be there, when "parking" had narrey a car! He loved the smell of the "fresh-cut green",But to him it proved such a fiend.It's favor to him, was always lean!Despite it's beauty, it could be so mean! The point of golf? To put the ball in the hole.You do that with a "curved-end' pole.But the path, always guarded by a "troll",Or maybe yet, some "ticked-off" mole! He was never any good in the traps, In fact, his "game" would always flap.But to others, it seemed to sit on their laps,While he was reduced to stomping his cap! He'd read the "mags" to take his golf game higher.He wanted the best ball--best putter---best driver.Often going to his wife to borrow a "fiver",She wouldn't budge. No matter how hard he tried to "jive" her! To the links, early morning he'd often travel,Sometimes his bathrobe and pajamas his only apparel.Unfortunately, the knot would often unravel,After jumping up and down at a lucky roll, he'd marvel! Copyright 2005 by Kevin D. Rolle. All rights reserved. My name is Kevin D. Rolle, and I have a site at http://www.golf-humor-asylum.com which is dedicated to the humorous and comedic aspects of golf, which are displayed through a fresh, exciting golf comic strip, and my commentary. Thanks.
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Does Your Junior Golfer Need A Sport Psychologist? "My son gets so angry on the golf course that he cannot perform in competitions". "My daughter gets so nervous when other people are watching her play that her game completely falls apart". "My kid hits it so well on the range, and then hits it all over the map in a tournament". These are the kinds of comments that I often hear from parents of junior golfers. Do these kids need a golf psychologist? No. Nobody needs training on the mental part of the game. I take the word need very seriously. I believe we need air and water and sleep and food. I certainly wouldn't suggest that anyone needs mental training, anymore than I would suggest that anyone needs golf lessons or physical training. What I would say, however, is that I have yet to encounter any player who couldn't benefit from proper mental, technical, or physical instruction. Thus, I believe any junior golfer could benefit from mental instruction. Most people simply don't understand what this training is or how it works. Golfer? Back Exercise Can Eliminate Back Pain 'Golfer' back exercise is a key part of any golf-specific exercise routine. What A Golf Conditioning Tip Must Have There are certain aspects that any good golf conditioning tip must have. And with the increasingly high number of golf tips flying through the net and many other places, it is extremely useful to know what to look for in a genuine golf conditioning tip. Course Management Strategies for Junior Golfers Many junior golfers are still in the process of developing all of the fundamentals of their game. One of the challenges faced is how to measure the progress of a player in these basics on the golf course, besides the obvious measurement of score. What Should Be Your Golf Training Priority? This is a question that is often asked for the simple reason that knowing one's golf training priority will enable them to improve their game within the shortest possible time. A Golf Fitness Exercise Program Will End Your Frustration On The Course Even as you read this article, golf fitness exercise programs continue to positively revolutionize the games of many golfers around the country and indeed around the world. A golf fitness exercise program plays a major role in helping many golfers achieve consistent and good results on the course with their swing. The Best Golf Training Aid The best golf training aid is pretty basic. Myrtle Beach Golf Vacations and Hurricanes ? How to Weather the Storm Hurricane season in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina runs from June through November each year. The peak months for hurricane activity are August and September. If you are planning a Myrtle Beach golf vacation during these times of the year, you should prepare yourself before arriving at your golf destination. This article provides tips and advice on how to weather any storm the tropics might throw at you while enjoying your golf vacation. Senior Golfers Increase Swing Speed It is widely known that with increased age comes a decrease in flexibility. This is why so many golf fitness programs emphasize stretching and increasing range of motion for senior golfers. It has also been well documented that senior golfers between the ages of 55 and 79 can increase their drive distance and enhance their overall golf performance by engaging in a safe and effective golf conditioning program. Golf Ideas Clone Golf Clubs Buyers Guide The Truth Golf Industry Insights The time and effort for due diligence prior to the launch of Prescription Putting has provided a number of insights to the golf industry. The following are some of the things that we learned and ones that help shape what we do here at Prescription Putting. Improving Your Golf Balance The need for balance for golf just sounds so simple and easy. As a golfer, you know that maintaining proper golf balance is a key to a good golf game. And it's more than just having the correct stance. Hogans Real Golf Secret Ben Hogan's secret was his extraordinary ability to focus. This was not a gift from heaven. No, Hogan spent long hours perfecting his focus technique. Par and Beyond: Secrets to Better Golf You've bogeyed your last hole, you are about to hit your next drive. As you take your practice swings, your mind is still on the last putt that you blew. You take your swing and it's a slice. In your mind you say to yourself "Oh no, I'm going to bogey again!" and you do. Who Invented The Game Of Golf? Well, who actually did invent the game of Golf? The question has been asked and argued for many years with no true winner. Many countries have a valid claim to an early game that resembles the game of golf. Some of the countries that make this claim are England. Scotland, China, Rome, France, The Netherlands, Belgium and Laos. The most heated debate over who invented golf definitely comes from Great Britain and Scotland. Golf Tips ? Tips to Improve Your Putting If you are seriously considering lowering your scores, then you must take your putting seriously, as roughly half the strokes you play in a round of golf are likely to be on the putting green. However good you are at driving, pitching and chipping, if your putting is not up to standard, you will never make the next level. My Dad told me the famous quote when I was probably about 12 or 13, 'Drive for show putt for dough', this says it all! That is why it is quite incredible that putting is not often concentrated on. Using A Golf Swing Trainer May Surprise You Many amateur golfers start out playing golf for fun. Most would like to keep it that way and that is precisely the reason why the mention of a golf swing trainer, however much that would help them improve their game will not only draw loud groans but for most they will already start feeling tired at the mere thought. Why Golf Swing Training Aids Have Not Worked For You Golf swing training aids have a bad reputation with most amateur golfers. Many of them have been victims to aggressive companies selling golf swing training aids. A Golf Fitness Tip Must Focus On The Golf Swing There is no way that you can separate a good golf fitness tip from a good well executed golf swing. The golf swing is the most strenuous aspect of the game and a good golf fitness tip is one that helps you improve on your golf swing. 52 Ways To Stop Your Slice If there's one thing that haunts most golfers more than missing a 3-foot putt, it has to be slicing the ball off the tee. So this week I have written 2-different articles - the first being 52 Ways to Stop Your Slice and the second being If You Understand What Causes A Slice You Wouldn't Need 52 Ways To Stop A Slice! So consider this a bonus section to Golf Improvement Weekly.
|
| © Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013 |