Divorce Information

Love and Marriage Fairy Tale


When we were children we believed in fairy tales and happy ever after endings just like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and many other fairy tales. However, as we grow older, we soon realise that situations in real life do not always turn out as we would of expected our fairy tale to.

Divorce Makes Us Stronger


My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child".

Why Men Wont Commit To Marriage


A common reason why men wont commit could be due to their past. Men wont commit if they have witnessed their parents in the past arguing or rowing. Their childhood memories could be that of an unhappy one. They may not have been brought up in a happy family atmosphere. If their parents didn?t get on together then they would have seen this situation as normal family life. Men will be much more cautious of committing themselves to a stable relationship if they have been brought up in an unhappy environment.

Tax & Financial Impacts of Divorce: 10 Mistakes to Avoid


Divorce is something no one hopes will happen to them when they get married. Unfortunately, almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Since few people have pre-nuptial agreements, most divorces involve often bitter tangles over children, money, and assets. When it comes to the tax and financial implications of divorce, often your divorce attorney is not the only one you should rely on for advice.

Why Standard Visitation Should NOT Be Standard


When a nuclear family separates, it usually separates into a "custodial" family and a "non-custodial" family. The custodial family is the parent with whom the children reside on a day-to-day basis. Most often, it's the Mother. The non-custodial family is the other parent - usually Dad - and the children when they are with him.

9 Steps to Regaining Self-Esteem After Divorce


Divorce is difficult at the ?best? of times. Even when a couple makes a combined decision to divorce, it can be extremely trying.

Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!


It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you. There is a simple process to help the serious individual get over a divorce.

Advantages to Doing Your Own Divorce


There are many advantages to doing your own divorce. Three significant ones are: you'll get a better divorce, you'll save a lot of money, and you'll be able to keep things simple.

Divorce--Getting Legal Help Without Paying Exorbitant Attorneys Fees


Ignorance is the most common trap in the business of divorce, so becoming informed is crucial. However, friends, relatives and "common knowledge" are the worst and most expensive sources of advice. Use these for moral support, but when they give you advice, just smile and say "Thank You" but do not take it seriously. If you didn't get the advice from a reputable book or an attorney, don't trust it! Just because you like or trust someone doesn't make them right. And if you take bad advice, who pays the price? You do--perhaps for the rest of your life.

Anatomy of a Divorce: How it Really Works


The legal divorce vs. your real divorceThe legal divorce has very limited concerns: to get a judgment of divorce, you have to make arrangements for your property, your children, and support (if any). If you have a high degree of conflict, it is also about keeping the peace and protecting you, your children and your property. That's it; that's all the legal divorce is about.The law is used to impose a decision in your case only when there is a disagreement that has been brought into court. If you can reach a fair written agreement with your spouse, you can get almost any terms you like without much reference to laws. But, where children are concerned, a judge might take a look at your terms to make sure they are reasonably well supported and protected.All you get from your legal divorce is a piece of paper--a Judgment--with findings of fact and court orders on the above subjects. That's all. This is what all the fuss is about; this is what people go to attorneys for and spend tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to get--a piece of paper with orders about peace, property, custody, and support.You might think that a legal divorce will solve your problems, but it probably won't and it is critically important that you understand this so you don't expect too much from the legal divorce--or some lawyer--and set yourself up for frustration and disappointment.Your real divorce is about ending one life and beginning another, then making it work--spiritually, emotionally and practically. The real divorce is about breaking old patterns, making a new life and seeking a new center of balance. It's about doing your best with the hand you've been dealt.Understanding some basic things about how the real divorce works will help you enormously in dealing with yourself, your spouse and your list of practical problems.How you feel is probably the most real thing in your life right now. Nothing else in your life is as real as your pain, your fear, your anger, hurt, guilt, tension, nervousness, illness, depression--whatever it is you are feeling.The practical tasks you face are also very real: how to get by financially, how to rearrange the parenting of your children, what to say to family and friends, what to do next, and so on.In your real divorce, then, you face these challenges:Emotional: This is about breaking (or failing to break) the bonds, patterns, dependencies, and habits that attach you to your ex-spouse. It's about learning to let go of anger, fear, hurt, guilt, blame, and resentment. You learn about past mistakes so you don't have to repeat them. You develop a balanced view of yourself, your ex-spouse, and your marriage. You create self-confidence and an openness to new intimate relationships.Physical: Our minds and bodies are not separate and life does not come in these neat boxes. Emotions--especially strong ones that are ignored, denied or repressed--are frequently expressed physically. During divorce, people tend to experience a lot of tension and nervousness. They get ill frequently and have accidents. This is a time when you must take extra good care of your health, pay close attention to your body, and be extra careful when driving.Practical: This is about taking care of business on the physical plane--including the legal divorce. It's the nuts and bolts of what to do, where to go, and how to get there as you begin to build a new life for yourself. You need to create safety and security for yourself and your children; to make ends meet in a new life-style that produces what you need and needs no more than you can produce.Going through major life changes--in other words, re-creating your life--is demanding, hard work, but it may be the most important thing you ever do. And, unless you decide to get counseling or go into therapy, the real divorce won't cost a dime!This article was taken from the book Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any Better, which is full of practical advice on how to handle the issues described above. Learn more by going to Divorce Solutions.Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman

Coping With Divorce Anger


Successfully releasing your anger will help you begin healing after your divorce. Right now you may feel a great deal of rage at your ex-husband. You might be thinking that if it weren?t for him, your life wouldn?t be so messed up. These feelings are actually a necessary part of your healing.

An In-Depth Look at Army Divorce Rates


Raleigh, NC-The largest divorce firm in the state, Rosen Law Firm, says they're not surprised by the sharp increase among Army divorce rates and that more needs to be done to counsel the spouses left at home and those deployed overseas.

A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce


I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end. I had several months of suspecting that she was having an affair. There was weeks that I didn?t see her because she was staying out all night. I tried to do everything that I thought would help to mend the situation. I tried to get her to go to counseling, talk to the pastor at church, but the more I tried the worse my situation became. She resented me for every thing I tried to do.

Effects of Divorce on Children


When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous sense of grief and relief are felt. A recently divorced person will feel grief over the loss of their marriage and the loss of their partner in life. But there is also a sense of relief that the pain and anguish is now over and their healing can begin. For couples without children divorce is a far simpler process. They are not continually seeing each other to bring up all those bad feelings over and over again. When children are involved parents must learn their new roles and coexist quickly to minimize the negative effects of divorce on children.The effects of divorce on children can be very traumatic.Some children blame themselves for the divorce, believing that they caused their parent's divorce due to their bad behavior or not listening. Some children just shut down after the divorce and find it very difficult to express their feelings. Often they look as sad as they feel, withdrawing from friends and activities they once enjoyed.The effects of divorce on children can harm their future.The effects of divorce on children can be detrimental to their future relationships. Children sometimes feel betrayed by their parents, resulting in a mistrust of others. This inability to trust others hinders their ability to form intimate relationships.Parents can minimize the effects of divorce on childrenThe good news is that the effects of divorce on children can be minimized by their parents. Parents can reassure their kids that the divorce is not their fault. It is also important for parents to make their child feel safe by reassuring their child that they are loved by both parents. It is also important to let your child know that parents do not divorce their children. Tell your child that you are available to answer any questions they might have about the divorce. The effects of divorce on children will be less severe if the couple is able to put aside their differences as much as possible and work together to provide a loving, safe and consistent environment in both parent's homes.

What Are You Waiting For?


So, you?ve decided that you?re no longer ?a couple?, but for whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided to stay together "for the sake of the children".

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Commitment
Being marriage means being fully committed to your husband as to the Lord. Look at Ephesians 5:22 it says Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water though the word, and present her to himself as a radiant church without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother an be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
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