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Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide
Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly with regards to the mortgage and household bills. When marriage seperation is inevitable obviously both parties need somewhere to stay and often it can be quite difficult to sell one property and then try to finance two. Some couples agree to keep the existing property going and one partner move out into rented accommodation for a trial marriage seperation period. This then gives each partner time to reflect and decide what may be better for both parties. However, both parties in marriage seperation have to live and are sometimes eligible for single parent help should they have children. This, together with child maintenance, could help with their financial situation considerably. Marriage seperation can be a lonely one as you may not get asked to dinner parties and get togethers from your existing circle of friends who are still married. People intend to invite couples to join couples and have a good time. They sometimes forget that friends, whether together in marriage or not, should still be friends and it often helps to keep them in the same circle of friends even in marriage seperation. After all we are all human and need all the friends we have especially at the beginning of a marriage seperation. True friends will always want to help you at a time like this when your morale is low and you need motivation. It is also helpful to meet new people who are in the same situation as yourself. They will understand what you are going through and it may help you too to get things off your chest. You never know, you may even gain a complete new circle of friends. There are so many meeting points for people on their own. Dinner dates, luncheons and breakfast clubs operate throughout the country so meeting new people, where for friendship or a new prospective partner could be a step in the right direction to get you motivated and get you out of a rut. Of course marriage seperation for the older person tends to be much harder a you tend to think that most people by now have found their ideal partner and that there do not seem to be many older people looking for companionship or a stable relationship. Again, clubs and groups of all ages operate in most areas. Obviously you will be more cautious next time around as you have already been hurt in the past. But you now have more experience behind you and know what to look for in the future whether it be friendship or a more permanent relationship. Marriage seperation is hard work but once you come to terms with what has happened in your life you should be able to build a new life for yourself and look forward to new and rewarding challenges that come along. Marriage seperation can and will be stressful at times but keep your head above water and you will begin to see positive results arise in your future. Concentrate on being positive in the future and you will reap the rewards that await you. Everything comes to those who wait. Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations. http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com
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Please pay your filing fees on the way in."Our system of justice is known as an "adversary system." This is the nature of the beast. It began hundreds of years ago in the middle ages with "trial by combat," where people with a disagreement would fight it out and whoever survived was "right." Today, physical contact is no longer a recognized legal technique, but things are still set up as a fight. The parties are regarded as adversaries, enemies in combat. When a divorce is conducted in our legal system, the spouses and their attorneys are expected to struggle against one another and try to "win" the case, to "beat" the opposition.The rules control the way your attorney works with you. Your attorney is required to be "adversarial," that is, aggressive and combative. The adversary system and the way lawyers work in it is a major cause of conflict, trouble and the high cost of divorce. You want to have as little as possible to do with the legal system. It is designed to work against you.In spite of the way things seem, lawyers are not always villains and not always to blame for stirring up conflict. But even for lawyers who mean well, the tools they use and the system they work in will usually increase conflict. Law schools do not require courses in communication or negotiation. Rather, they stress manipulation of rules of law, aggressive and defensive strategy, how to take any side of any case and make the most of it, how to argue, and how to get the most financial advantage in every situation.Professional standards of practice dictate how a lawyer will conduct your case. For example, professional ethics forbid your lawyer to communicate directly with your spouse--the adversary. 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An attorney can use formal discovery to get documents and information under oath.So, if you and your spouse can work out your own temporary arrangements and share all information openly, you'll have no need for those incredibly expensive legal tools. You can keep your case out of lawyers' offices and out of court.But, if either spouse retains an attorney, that attorney will invariably write formal letters, file legal papers, make motions, and do discovery. These actions will surely cause the other spouse to get an attorney, too. Now, instead of two people who don't communicate well, you have four people who do not communicate well. The case is now contested and the cost and conflict level will go way up. Attorneys tend to ask for more than they expect to get; it's considered "good" practice. Your spouse's lawyer will oppose your lawyer's exaggerated demands by offering less than they are willing to give and by attacking you and your case at the weakest points.Now you're off to a good, hot start and soon you'll have a hotly contested case, lots of cost, and a couple of very upset spouses. Fees in contested cases can run from tens of thousands of dollars each all the way up to everything.Summary: Except in high-conflict cases, the legal system has little to offer. 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