Earn Money Playing Slots...or not

Yay, what a life would that be - sitting behind the fancy slot machine, hitting buttons, sipping Bud Light and constantly cashing out big bucks, or coins. Sure, we know that casinos (even online casinos, yes) take their "edge" and earn hideous profits, but we don't think about it when we step into a local casino or log on to our favourite online casino.

There's always a constant battle between "us" (the players) and "them" (casino) and most of the time we're pretty equal, until the slot machine suddenly turns into a money-leeching demon and starts eating our cash. So, after losing again, you ended up reading this article that has a title which gives you some hope.

Not that I want to sound rude, but reconsider because you won't win your money back. Every bet you make equals giving your money away. Actually, there's only one way to gain a profit visiting a casino - that's when you sign up for a casino's club card and go visit the place once in a while. You won't play but always claim your "Club Member Bonus" free drink. After drinking it you should leave the place, but knowing you guys, that almost never happens.

For people who still believe that they can win with slot machines, I have listed some myths and rumors that aren't true. Believing in them brings you debts and misery.

Some people believe that a poorly paying slot machine is about to hit big, maybe even a jackpot, so it would be smart to keep on playing or even raise the bets::

Well, actually there's no difference if the machine has been paying poorly for a long time or not, because each spin is unique and totally random (IF, that is, you're playing at least Casino Control Commission or a GamblingRalf approved casino and the machine uses well-known software). There's different situations in land based casinos, because even if they claim that slot machines payout percentage is fixed and constant, it still happens sometimes. The payout percentage has been lowered to nonexistent and you can keep on playing and losing forever. There's also no such thing as "feeding the slot machine" (this equals losing your money in order to win it back later) or "milking it".

Talking on a cell phone when gambling drives high tech slot machines crazy and helps to win big...or not! Actually some cell phones damage digital slot machines (especially before GSM coverage, when NMT was a superhit), but I haven't heard any stories of players being able to cheat the casino with this trick and withdraw the money.

I know a few players who have had sudden $100,000 on their bankroll and weren't paid, because the computer chip made a mistake (probably caused by cell phone). Every bet and win has to be proved by a slot machine's previous winnings history, which is saved and constantly checked.

::Temperature of the coins affect slot machines and payout rates. Hot coin means more money!::

Another twisted fairytale. If you're already so credulous, don't visit casinos at all - you will gamble your brains off like that and go home crying. Computer chips have a RNG chip (Random Number Generator) that isn't affected by anything, even not by the coin you have stored and heated up between your buns.

We could continue this list, but I'd rather not do it because it all comes down to one thing - in the long run there's no way you can beat the slot machine and steal its edge. If winning was easy, there would be no casinos. There's no simple "How to Beat Slot Machine" tactic, only some simple rules that should be followed to keep your losings as low as possible.

Ralf Vinogradov is a part-time journalist in a newspaper and an editor and webmaster of gambling related website GamblingRalf.com, that introduces wackiest online casino bonuses. He also runs infamous newsletter called "Club Hundredaire".